A Tribute

Don't know why, miss daddy a whole lot these few days. I've been missing him all this while.. just that I usually can get a better control of my emotions. But not this time. It's taking much longer this time.

Haven't forgotten how daddy looked like... not even a bit. His face, his voice, his posture... etc... always fresh in my mind. Doesn't seem at all that I haven't seen him for 196 days, haven't talked with him for 199 days....

Daddy's a man with extraordinary iron-will. He'd set the best example for all of us & we're so proud to have him as our daddy. He'd never complained a single word.. not even during the last few days when he's suffering immensely. He always looked calm... I guess he didn't want to worry us. Once in the hospital I cried uncontrollably in front of him after a close shave & he told me not to cry as it'd affect him. Daddy wants me to be happy. He'd always wanted me to be....... when I came out from the previous relationship, he gave me lotsa encouragement. He told me "as long as you're happy." He's the one who stood by my decision (in being with Vince) & helped to talk mum into accepting my choice. He's my shield against all the unwanted criticism from others.

It all started when hubby told me about his colleague's ailing dad. He demands a lot from her who's working & also has her own family to busy with. Then I thought about daddy. Indeed I'm a blessed gal to have such a wonderful daddy. From the day he's diagnosed, he never ever required our help nor put us on a guilt trip by getting disappointed if we're too busy to keep him company. He never called me to ask what time we're going home, never asked me to get him anything, never complained that he's suffering too much. He's always so considerate.

Since young, he'd never beaten me.. never. Unlike my bro & sis who'd ever gotten thrashing from him. When I recall, not even scolding. Nope... as far as I remember, he's not scolded me before. He always talked nicely with me & brought me around with him when I was small. I'm always daddy's little gal.

He'd also been the handyman at home.. he's always the giver & used to buy small things for me. Sometimes I was so mean to think that he's being a lil too nosy as very often those he got for me weren't what I liked.

He's very hands-on.. he could repair from leaking water pipes to almost all the electrical appliances (perhaps not the big ones like fridge & washer). Throw him a watch & he could get it ticking again... Very impressive. But all of us had taken him for granted... couldn't stand the mess with all his stuff lying around.

Daddy knew nothing about computer & only started to learn about 4 years ago, after he retired. He grasped the knowledge in just a few months & even knew how to burn dvds from what he'd video-recorded. He's more technologically advanced than any 1 of us in the family...eg. when we asked him to record a show on tv, he'd do it with his dvd recorder.

Even when he's already very sick, he still got things done for us. It's only towards the last 1 or 2 months before he's admitted to hospital he'd no energy to play with his toys. My heart was like being hammered when he started telling us where his things were placed & how to operate certain equipment. Now I really hope that he could be nosy... I want him to meddle into my stuff...

Towards the last few days in the hospital when he knew it wasn't possible for him to go home again, he kept telling me to bring 1 particular equipment to hospital so he could show me how to operate it, saying it's too complicated even if we've the manual. He's so concerned about his 'treasures'. However it's too late... didn't manage to bring it to him & daddy eventually told me, with a very weak voice, to study the manual myself.

Sometimes when I'm sad, I'd imagine what daddy would have said to encourage me. Sometimes when I play with Tubby-boy, I'd think how daddy would discipline the naughty kitten as he's a cat-lover too. Whenever I see some elderly couples who're still loving, I think of daddy. How nice it'd be if he & mum could still walk hand-in-hand & enjoy their old age together... especially now that Vince & I can somehow provide for them & they could live comfortably.

Seeing how mum gets on with her life is a really great encouragement. I'm sure she's moving on because of daddy too. He wants us to be like him... being strong & face difficulties courageously, even during the most trying ones.

Afterall, the biggest comfort is... there's not much of regrets for me & Vince. We'd spent lotsa time with him at home & in the hospital & it's truly God's grace that he could walk me down the aisle. And God is good, when He takes away one He replaces with another. Now my dearest hubby is the handyman in the family.