Can you actually fall in love with someone without meeting him/her? If it's 15 years ago, I'd have said yes since I was there! But hey, for someone who's lived almost half a century, I thought would have more life experiences to indulge in dreams or easily believe. Likewise, can a man of same age declare love for a woman he's never met, to the extent that, after only a week's long distance chatting on the phone/messenger, he could send a day a love poem?
Perhaps there really is ........ one in thousands?
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Friday, June 24, 2011
Routines
Nowadays I'm so short of time. To consider that for the last couple of months we knock off on the dot & head home straight. The road condition is normally good before 6. After settling dinner, it's usually 7ish that's including getting our next day's breakfast which is taking more & more time to settle as we're out of ideas (of what to eat in the morning) since we're quite overdosed of the usual ham+cheese bun & such...
There seriously isn't much time left after we reach home. We'd only manage to catch 1 or at most 2 episodes of TVB drama while hubby gives me an hour of foot massage before we Zzzzz. Most of the weeknights, we sleep before 11pm because I try to wake up before 6 & hit CTE before 8 to save ERP charges. We've been paying $6.50 on a normal day (on some days when there's massive jam on CTE or we left home late we even paid $9.50!!!!!) till more than a month ago I needed to get to office early for a meeting. Have we realised the amount we could save from ERP! From $6.50 to S2.50... & a much smoother traffic.
Every day passes so quickly... before we know it, weekend is here. We spend every weekend together & it's always short & never enough.
Time passes so fast... week after week... & half of 2011 is gone now.
There seriously isn't much time left after we reach home. We'd only manage to catch 1 or at most 2 episodes of TVB drama while hubby gives me an hour of foot massage before we Zzzzz. Most of the weeknights, we sleep before 11pm because I try to wake up before 6 & hit CTE before 8 to save ERP charges. We've been paying $6.50 on a normal day (on some days when there's massive jam on CTE or we left home late we even paid $9.50!!!!!) till more than a month ago I needed to get to office early for a meeting. Have we realised the amount we could save from ERP! From $6.50 to S2.50... & a much smoother traffic.
Every day passes so quickly... before we know it, weekend is here. We spend every weekend together & it's always short & never enough.
Time passes so fast... week after week... & half of 2011 is gone now.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Back to the Lord
A good friend of 22 years passed away this afternoon. He'd a massive stroke yesterday but was only discovered last night @9pm when his brother returned home.. so no1 knew when & how it actually happened. He's pronounced brain-dead.. his organs were failing & he took his last breath today @2.30pm. It's sudden as he's a year younger than me.
Many of our good old friends visited him yesterday... he'd be happy if he were to know since he loved to have his friends around.
Life can be that short.
Many of our good old friends visited him yesterday... he'd be happy if he were to know since he loved to have his friends around.
Life can be that short.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Violence. Why?
Saw a pic of MG with a bruised eye on FB. Was curious.. wanted to ask but don't think it's appropriate. Based on some remarks left by his friend, think he got into a fight in Zouk?
Hubby said.. there're only 2 possible reasons why a man gets into a fight - 1) money & 2) woman... that's typical!
Though typical it sounds, there's some truth... as $$$ & love (especially when it's romantically linked) have great power in evoking a person's emotions or worse, in making a person act impulsively.
Both hubby & I were being offered such a complimentary service before.
About hubby's, it's during his NS days & we all know the guys there come from all walks of life. He's having relationship problem then & his mates offered to bash the 3rd party. But hubby declined their "help" as he didn't see the need at all to get himself into trouble for someone who's already gone.
Mine? Also few years ago before I knew hubby. Mentioned before that I was coming out of a rocky relationship & someone from overseas said he could send some guys to teach him a lesson for mistreating me. I rejected the offer too as I didn't want to break the law & get myself implicated because of that loser. And also gave him a chance to deprecate me? Totally not worth it.
Fortunately both of us were rational. But many guys (& maybe some girls too?) let their anger or ego rule their head, which is why there're crimes of fights happening everyday.
Hubby said.. there're only 2 possible reasons why a man gets into a fight - 1) money & 2) woman... that's typical!
Though typical it sounds, there's some truth... as $$$ & love (especially when it's romantically linked) have great power in evoking a person's emotions or worse, in making a person act impulsively.
Both hubby & I were being offered such a complimentary service before.
About hubby's, it's during his NS days & we all know the guys there come from all walks of life. He's having relationship problem then & his mates offered to bash the 3rd party. But hubby declined their "help" as he didn't see the need at all to get himself into trouble for someone who's already gone.
Mine? Also few years ago before I knew hubby. Mentioned before that I was coming out of a rocky relationship & someone from overseas said he could send some guys to teach him a lesson for mistreating me. I rejected the offer too as I didn't want to break the law & get myself implicated because of that loser. And also gave him a chance to deprecate me? Totally not worth it.
Fortunately both of us were rational. But many guys (& maybe some girls too?) let their anger or ego rule their head, which is why there're crimes of fights happening everyday.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Milestone
I'm retarded in updating. Lotsa happenings in June.
We've been thinking... every few years, things would all come at the same time...
But we're looking at it positively... despite some amount of stress in certain phases, all these have drawn us closer to God, and to each other as well :)
We've been thinking... every few years, things would all come at the same time...
But we're looking at it positively... despite some amount of stress in certain phases, all these have drawn us closer to God, and to each other as well :)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Lightning does strike twice
Ok, I did it again...
I've tendered my resignation 2 weeks ago, so my last day of work will be 3rd Jun, a Wed. The previous time my last day was 3rd Sept, a Wed too.
Some of the colleagues exclaimed in disbelief "huh? not... again...??" or "so what's the problem this time?". But I've expected such reactions :\ As my name was put up in the leavers' database since Monday, on average 3 persons will ask about my resignation each day. I've, again, made a name there... but not in a favourable way:(
At least those gals who are close to me know what've been happening to my boss & my department... They just hope that I will make a better choice this time round. This, certainly, is also my prayer.
I've a great boss & I've learnt quite a bit from him. But that doesn't mean a nice man wouldn't be cornered, wouldn't be involved in the politics stirred up by some leaders of the firm, wouldn't be stressed out. It doesn't help that he's new in this department (promoted & joined this department just a week before I did), so is his boss (my big boss) who is also in the firm's leadership team. The atmosphere in our department is often tensed because almost every other day our boss is pressured or being questioned by his boss. So much so that he would get a lil erratic in his instructions as he's always busy handling our big boss.
Just last Fri, I've a pretty heated argument. For consecutive 2 days, he'd been blaming me for things that're not my fault. It's not the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time. Some asked me to speak up for myself. Yet I didn't as I empathised with him. But I had my limit too, he raised his voice at me over something he missed out himself. And that was it. I let out a snort of absurdness before walking away though he told me "wait! I haven't finished!". When he continued, I rebutted him from my cubicle next to his. Thinking of it now, it's kinda funny but everyone must have heard including those from the next department. Shortly after, he sent me an email of apology. One of my team members, V, tried consoling me & it did help to distract me from the anger:
V: Hey gal, cool down ya.. He's like this when under stress.. We've got it from him before too.
Me: Ok, thanks:) Well, it's not the 1st or 2nd time being wronged..
V: I know, that's why when I heard what he said, I was like "oh no... there he's blaming you again"... But you also very daring, dared to flare up... maybe because you've resigned lor.
Me: I think even if I haven't resigned, I'd still do it. But after doing it, I'll resigned.
V: Haha!
That sounds like a joke but think I would really do it. While having to endure such treatments infinitely is not a long term arrangement for me, resign without a job is also not the best solution. So I have to really thank God for paving my way even before this unpleasant situaiton occurred.
This time round, I didn't force my way to the new job. About 2 months ago, this friend, EH, approached me as his company was recruiting & asked me if I was interested. I was pretty keen but didn't dare to commit as I've no relevant product knowledge. But he thought I was suitable for this role, based on my character & said would arrange an interview for me. From that day on, hubby & I committed everything to the Lord in prayer. After the last lesson, I didn't want to use my own 'intelligence' or 'capability' to get what I thought would be interesting & suitable for me. We trust that if this was prepared by God, He would make all other arrangements for me. All I did was to go for the interview with a sincere attitude.
At the interview, I brought up a pretty ridiculous request - to work 5 days a week instead of the 5.5-day which the company's having and thought this job opportunity was as good as gone. Hubby's a lil disappointed that I've let this chance go as he, too, thought this job would suit me better but I didn't wish to compromise on something which's of paramount significance to me to then realise that I couldn't come to terms with it later. I've phobia... I didn't want to commit the same mistake again.
So I was really glad that EH reverted on Mon morning (interview was on Sat) that he & the directors who interviewed me agreed to my requests:) What can I say except that it's all God's grace?
I'll be getting a lil lesser than current but it's going to be fully offset by the ERP charges we're paying now. Imagine.. 3 gantries every morning (comparing to 1 in my new job).. particularly one that hits $4 when sometimes we're late & pass through it after 8.30am.
I hope I'll be happier in the new environment & job... this is my ongoing prayer.
I've tendered my resignation 2 weeks ago, so my last day of work will be 3rd Jun, a Wed. The previous time my last day was 3rd Sept, a Wed too.
Some of the colleagues exclaimed in disbelief "huh? not... again...??" or "so what's the problem this time?". But I've expected such reactions :\ As my name was put up in the leavers' database since Monday, on average 3 persons will ask about my resignation each day. I've, again, made a name there... but not in a favourable way:(
At least those gals who are close to me know what've been happening to my boss & my department... They just hope that I will make a better choice this time round. This, certainly, is also my prayer.
I've a great boss & I've learnt quite a bit from him. But that doesn't mean a nice man wouldn't be cornered, wouldn't be involved in the politics stirred up by some leaders of the firm, wouldn't be stressed out. It doesn't help that he's new in this department (promoted & joined this department just a week before I did), so is his boss (my big boss) who is also in the firm's leadership team. The atmosphere in our department is often tensed because almost every other day our boss is pressured or being questioned by his boss. So much so that he would get a lil erratic in his instructions as he's always busy handling our big boss.
Just last Fri, I've a pretty heated argument. For consecutive 2 days, he'd been blaming me for things that're not my fault. It's not the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time. Some asked me to speak up for myself. Yet I didn't as I empathised with him. But I had my limit too, he raised his voice at me over something he missed out himself. And that was it. I let out a snort of absurdness before walking away though he told me "wait! I haven't finished!". When he continued, I rebutted him from my cubicle next to his. Thinking of it now, it's kinda funny but everyone must have heard including those from the next department. Shortly after, he sent me an email of apology. One of my team members, V, tried consoling me & it did help to distract me from the anger:
V: Hey gal, cool down ya.. He's like this when under stress.. We've got it from him before too.
Me: Ok, thanks:) Well, it's not the 1st or 2nd time being wronged..
V: I know, that's why when I heard what he said, I was like "oh no... there he's blaming you again"... But you also very daring, dared to flare up... maybe because you've resigned lor.
Me: I think even if I haven't resigned, I'd still do it. But after doing it, I'll resigned.
V: Haha!
That sounds like a joke but think I would really do it. While having to endure such treatments infinitely is not a long term arrangement for me, resign without a job is also not the best solution. So I have to really thank God for paving my way even before this unpleasant situaiton occurred.
This time round, I didn't force my way to the new job. About 2 months ago, this friend, EH, approached me as his company was recruiting & asked me if I was interested. I was pretty keen but didn't dare to commit as I've no relevant product knowledge. But he thought I was suitable for this role, based on my character & said would arrange an interview for me. From that day on, hubby & I committed everything to the Lord in prayer. After the last lesson, I didn't want to use my own 'intelligence' or 'capability' to get what I thought would be interesting & suitable for me. We trust that if this was prepared by God, He would make all other arrangements for me. All I did was to go for the interview with a sincere attitude.
At the interview, I brought up a pretty ridiculous request - to work 5 days a week instead of the 5.5-day which the company's having and thought this job opportunity was as good as gone. Hubby's a lil disappointed that I've let this chance go as he, too, thought this job would suit me better but I didn't wish to compromise on something which's of paramount significance to me to then realise that I couldn't come to terms with it later. I've phobia... I didn't want to commit the same mistake again.
So I was really glad that EH reverted on Mon morning (interview was on Sat) that he & the directors who interviewed me agreed to my requests:) What can I say except that it's all God's grace?
I'll be getting a lil lesser than current but it's going to be fully offset by the ERP charges we're paying now. Imagine.. 3 gantries every morning (comparing to 1 in my new job).. particularly one that hits $4 when sometimes we're late & pass through it after 8.30am.
I hope I'll be happier in the new environment & job... this is my ongoing prayer.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Rainbow after the Rain
Actually it's still drizzling a lil. Caught it while hubby's driving on CTE, towards home. I could see the whole semi-circle spread across the whole sky... too wide for my phonecam to capture.
Simply beautiful.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Marathon
On New Year's Day, we met L for dinner and continued the chat over drinks... for a record-breaking 9hours. Well I'm not sure about L but that's the longest for me, as well as for hubby.
Dinner started around 6.45pm opposite our place, at this very popular 'Taste of Thailand'. Around 8pm, we moved to our place downstairs. A bottle of red wine, some left over bottles of liquor and chips.
I'm not taking sides, anyway we're not in a position to do so. As we all know, neither of them can say he/she is acquitted, though one might have to shoulder a larger portion of faults for making such move. But there're just too many pre-existing problems that contributed to today's situation which seriously I don't think are negligible issues. Not nitpicking or trying to condemn but I feel that it's important to dissect the problems to know what've actually gone wrong. This is essential for communication & reconciliation, though I'm not sure whether it's too late now. Been there before... if the other party only has the intention to salvage but doesn't realise there're serious problems fatal to the relationship, how can things be worked out? Worse is, what's being focused on is my wrongdoings that have resulted in the current situation & his are considered small matters. To say it crudely, I'll even be more convinced of my decision because things won't change, and he won't change.
I miss M, this sweet friend.
L only left few minutes before 4am. By the time we went to bed, it was nearly 5am. Thank God we didn't have to work the next day.
We know we can't help much... just hope for the best for L, who is a very nice & dear friend to us, in 2009.
Dinner started around 6.45pm opposite our place, at this very popular 'Taste of Thailand'. Around 8pm, we moved to our place downstairs. A bottle of red wine, some left over bottles of liquor and chips.
Our drinks of the night + Alizé Bleu (not in pic)
I'm not taking sides, anyway we're not in a position to do so. As we all know, neither of them can say he/she is acquitted, though one might have to shoulder a larger portion of faults for making such move. But there're just too many pre-existing problems that contributed to today's situation which seriously I don't think are negligible issues. Not nitpicking or trying to condemn but I feel that it's important to dissect the problems to know what've actually gone wrong. This is essential for communication & reconciliation, though I'm not sure whether it's too late now. Been there before... if the other party only has the intention to salvage but doesn't realise there're serious problems fatal to the relationship, how can things be worked out? Worse is, what's being focused on is my wrongdoings that have resulted in the current situation & his are considered small matters. To say it crudely, I'll even be more convinced of my decision because things won't change, and he won't change.
I miss M, this sweet friend.
L only left few minutes before 4am. By the time we went to bed, it was nearly 5am. Thank God we didn't have to work the next day.
We know we can't help much... just hope for the best for L, who is a very nice & dear friend to us, in 2009.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Miswedded?
Many around us are going through or have just come out of broken marriages.
Is it a trend now? Everyone's jumping on the bandwagon.
Someone in the family will be getting the Certificate of Making Interim Judgment Final (previously known as Decree Nisi Absolute) end of this month. Someone in the family had gone on separation but now trying to salvage the marriage though it's a lil bleak. Someone in the family is unhappy with the marriage, attempted to jump ship a few times but failed... so struggling to maintain a make-do relationship.
Our next door lived a young couple. We would make some small chats whenever we bumped into each other. They looked like a happily wedded couple who would go JB together for golf almost every other week. The last time I saw them was at the carpark & the 3 of us were chatting (hubby was not around then). Later on I even visited their home for the first time as they wanted to show me some stuff. But shortly after, the husband disappeared. So was his car. It's obvious as they used to go to work/come home together but now we only see the wife going out/coming back alone. For so long, only hubby saw him once at carpark, 9pm+, & he's leaving. We're pretty shocked.. I mean, there's no sign at all that their relationship's on the brink. Recently, we saw several times a man who drove a 5-series BM sent her back (we're busybody), sometimes the man would even leave her place in the morning.
Some time back, we're woken up from deep sleep when my cell phone rang at 5am+. It's my ex-colleague, MW, who called to ask me go for drinks & he sounded drunk. After knowing I didn't want to go out at such hour (who would actually?), he hanged up. From his mumbles I think he said he's been drinking at home. When I woke up in the morning I felt something amiss & rang his buddy, who apparently knew nothing, to check on him. Few days later his buddy, Ed, called & told me that his wife left him. Honestly he's the last person whom I would expect to have marriage problem... being an educated beng, he's doing well as a Regional Sales Manager & all of us in the office knew he doted on his wife very much. He'd not stop talking about her in front of us.
Then 2 months ago, it's my old friend. According to him, the wife woke up one morning & was determined that they're no longer compatible & held no future together. All of a sudden she couldn't stand many things that he did. A month after her realisation, she moved out.
People's mind has changed... plus the past experience... that's why when I see a loving pair, I'd wonder... are they a 'rightful' couple? If they are, then is the guy seeing a lover behind her back? Or maybe it's the gal who has a secret boyfriend? I may be too paranoid & I'm honestly sadden by my own cynicism. But it's not difficult to find individuals who lead a double life. In fact there're more & more these days... both male & female as men no longer monopolise the world of polygamy.
Having said all the above, I'm thankful that I've a husband who can make me believe there is miracle. We do not take it for granted though as it doesn't come easy. We've gone through a lot and are devoting our utmost to nurture this relationship. Both must have the same pace & conviction to make it work.
LL, if you're reading this, I don't know what else to say.... we all have different setbacks to face, though some may have more. Take time to get through this, feel free to talk, to vent out.... and believe that what you are enduring now will make you a even stronger person.
Is it a trend now? Everyone's jumping on the bandwagon.
Someone in the family will be getting the Certificate of Making Interim Judgment Final (previously known as Decree Nisi Absolute) end of this month. Someone in the family had gone on separation but now trying to salvage the marriage though it's a lil bleak. Someone in the family is unhappy with the marriage, attempted to jump ship a few times but failed... so struggling to maintain a make-do relationship.
Our next door lived a young couple. We would make some small chats whenever we bumped into each other. They looked like a happily wedded couple who would go JB together for golf almost every other week. The last time I saw them was at the carpark & the 3 of us were chatting (hubby was not around then). Later on I even visited their home for the first time as they wanted to show me some stuff. But shortly after, the husband disappeared. So was his car. It's obvious as they used to go to work/come home together but now we only see the wife going out/coming back alone. For so long, only hubby saw him once at carpark, 9pm+, & he's leaving. We're pretty shocked.. I mean, there's no sign at all that their relationship's on the brink. Recently, we saw several times a man who drove a 5-series BM sent her back (we're busybody), sometimes the man would even leave her place in the morning.
Some time back, we're woken up from deep sleep when my cell phone rang at 5am+. It's my ex-colleague, MW, who called to ask me go for drinks & he sounded drunk. After knowing I didn't want to go out at such hour (who would actually?), he hanged up. From his mumbles I think he said he's been drinking at home. When I woke up in the morning I felt something amiss & rang his buddy, who apparently knew nothing, to check on him. Few days later his buddy, Ed, called & told me that his wife left him. Honestly he's the last person whom I would expect to have marriage problem... being an educated beng, he's doing well as a Regional Sales Manager & all of us in the office knew he doted on his wife very much. He'd not stop talking about her in front of us.
Then 2 months ago, it's my old friend. According to him, the wife woke up one morning & was determined that they're no longer compatible & held no future together. All of a sudden she couldn't stand many things that he did. A month after her realisation, she moved out.
People's mind has changed... plus the past experience... that's why when I see a loving pair, I'd wonder... are they a 'rightful' couple? If they are, then is the guy seeing a lover behind her back? Or maybe it's the gal who has a secret boyfriend? I may be too paranoid & I'm honestly sadden by my own cynicism. But it's not difficult to find individuals who lead a double life. In fact there're more & more these days... both male & female as men no longer monopolise the world of polygamy.
Having said all the above, I'm thankful that I've a husband who can make me believe there is miracle. We do not take it for granted though as it doesn't come easy. We've gone through a lot and are devoting our utmost to nurture this relationship. Both must have the same pace & conviction to make it work.
LL, if you're reading this, I don't know what else to say.... we all have different setbacks to face, though some may have more. Take time to get through this, feel free to talk, to vent out.... and believe that what you are enduring now will make you a even stronger person.
Friday, October 31, 2008
The big 'C'
Hope I'm getting out of the pits of a career crisis... the ever first in my life.
I always pride myself for being a loyal employee, after all those years I stayed in my previous company serving the same Principal.... until 3 months ago. I left a 4-month job to move on to one that I've fought so hard for. But within a week, I quit. Much to my own disbelief. I couldn't accept that I was doing this to myself. But I was not willing to work 11 or 12 hours every day especially on Fridays and also cover another colleague who's leaving the following week after I joined (& they're not getting any replacement). A series of familiarisation trips for me was already in planning & I supposed to go for the first in a few weeks' time. So I thought it'd be better to withdraw when they haven't invested too much on me.
I can only say it's my naiveté for not expecting all these in such a job. I have no one to blame except myself. Only then I realised stable hours (with good welfare) topped my list of priorities. I guess I'm already over the days when I can strive... I'm not willing to give up the time I have with hubby & loved ones... not to mention I'd bring home lesser than what I do currently (initially I went for it thinking it's a good training ground.... it really is... if I'm younger, it'd have been a golden opportunity..).
The Director from the new office was upset but he didn't show too much. He just asked me to reconsider and said "you know, you're the one who wanted this job...". Yes I know, that's why I was so disappointed in myself. They're nice to pay me for the days I worked there. I thought I needed to pay them back the pre-medical checks but no. The admin exec said all of them knew I was Tan Sri's friend but they didn't know how I was linked to him... that's the reason perhaps.
The day I went back to return the office keys, I still couldn't believe what I had done. I was at the lowest as I was angry with myself for being stupid. Why didn't I realise what I wanted before moving on and then only a matter of 2 days that I became so sure of it?? Only then I began to miss my old company.. All my bosses were so good, in fact they're said to be few of the nicest in the firm. I was angry with myself for rejecting my bosses' counter offers. I was angry that I caused trouble to so many people & perhaps even embarrassment to my friends - one who got me the interview (Ben) and another one who thought he'd gotten me the interview (DL). I thought Ben would be upset but he's so understanding... told me not to worry & just go ahead to do whatever I deem was good for myself.
So in less than a week, I was jobless. Though I needed a break (never had one since I started working), it came at a totally unexpected timing. To think that I started that new job immediately after... I didn't have a day's rest as I was needed urgently.
Now, don't be shocked by what I'm going to say >>>>> I'm gone back to the place where I condemned for having too many arrogant people around.
I've been in contact with one of my bosses, Mr C, even after I left and he's the first, from my ex company, to know I dropped the new job. He promised to bring me back & talked to the HR Director... he didn't even ask why I gave that job up. I thought there's a chance to work for him again. But I didn't hear from HR. Though Mr C was one of those few partners who has crazy daily schedule (imagine... his meetings are always back-to-back every single day), he's so nice to follow up & text me to check whether HR contacted me. So was I crazy to give up such a wonderful boss??
Waiting game's always the worst game to play... it's just like wanting to get back to the ex after initiating a breakup. Seems like he's starting to move on but he asks for some time to consider. So every other minute you'd look at your cell phone, hoping it'll ring. And when it rings, you hope that it's his number that appears on the screen. That's what I told June when she talked about one of her exes and she found my description so amusing. The consolation being.... I haven't lost my sense of humor, huh.
Much as I didn't anticipate , I took the chance to rest... looked for jobs while waiting for HR to contact me as I gotta be prepared that I couldn't go back. Finally, they called me & asked me to meet my future boss (as I couldn't work for my ex-boss again). Interestingly, on that same day, I had 2 second interviews. I thought it's good so I could have all the answers around the same time. But it's very draining mentally.... at the end of the 3rd interview, my energy was completely depleted.
A couple of days later, I was offered all 3 jobs. It was a very tough decision to make as I was so afraid I would make the wrong choice again. Each job has its own set of plus points that I like and the bad ones deterred me. Eventually, I still chose to go back to my ex company mainly due to the welfare & remuneration package. Since I take this route, I will have to make myself fall in love with those unfavorable parts that come with the job.
It's good to be back. This time round, I've got quite a few friends around. Also met up with all my ex-bosses. Just last week, I had a chat with another ex-boss, Mr L who's a good friend of Mr C, & he said something which I couldn't decide whether I should be glad or sad. He said Mr C insisted to have me work under him again & that he preferred me over the one who's assigned (internal transfer) to him but HR was very firm on their stand, saying there're some rules & regulations. I know, it's not fair to everyone, especially to the one who's supposed to replace me, as all arrangements had already been done & I couldn't possibly mess the whole situation. Afterall, a partner doesn't have all the say... a big organisation like this has to be governed by some HR rules.
I choose to be happy about it... at least I'm still in the good books of my ex-bosses. Mr C has agreed to be my unofficial career coach and Mr L confirmed that Mr C is looking out for a good opportunity for me. With the current economic situation, I'm not too hopeful that it'll come soon though.
I'm going through the teething period now but I know God is great. I didn't know what I wanted and I was wilful but He is gracious... I had my rest(exactly 1 month as my last day of work was 9 Sept & I started work on 8 Oct) and I have a job now. The best of all is I've a great man in my life. Hubby didn't breathe a word of dismay or discouragement throughout this self-created mess. He's been so patient in encouraging me when I was going in cirlces, blaming myself for my own predicament. He's right... without trying, be it a good or bad choice, I would have always thought the pasture next door was greener. If I didn't take that step, I'd continue to be unhappy thinking I'd missed a great chance whenever I faced problems. How right.
I always pride myself for being a loyal employee, after all those years I stayed in my previous company serving the same Principal.... until 3 months ago. I left a 4-month job to move on to one that I've fought so hard for. But within a week, I quit. Much to my own disbelief. I couldn't accept that I was doing this to myself. But I was not willing to work 11 or 12 hours every day especially on Fridays and also cover another colleague who's leaving the following week after I joined (& they're not getting any replacement). A series of familiarisation trips for me was already in planning & I supposed to go for the first in a few weeks' time. So I thought it'd be better to withdraw when they haven't invested too much on me.
I can only say it's my naiveté for not expecting all these in such a job. I have no one to blame except myself. Only then I realised stable hours (with good welfare) topped my list of priorities. I guess I'm already over the days when I can strive... I'm not willing to give up the time I have with hubby & loved ones... not to mention I'd bring home lesser than what I do currently (initially I went for it thinking it's a good training ground.... it really is... if I'm younger, it'd have been a golden opportunity..).
The Director from the new office was upset but he didn't show too much. He just asked me to reconsider and said "you know, you're the one who wanted this job...". Yes I know, that's why I was so disappointed in myself. They're nice to pay me for the days I worked there. I thought I needed to pay them back the pre-medical checks but no. The admin exec said all of them knew I was Tan Sri's friend but they didn't know how I was linked to him... that's the reason perhaps.
The day I went back to return the office keys, I still couldn't believe what I had done. I was at the lowest as I was angry with myself for being stupid. Why didn't I realise what I wanted before moving on and then only a matter of 2 days that I became so sure of it?? Only then I began to miss my old company.. All my bosses were so good, in fact they're said to be few of the nicest in the firm. I was angry with myself for rejecting my bosses' counter offers. I was angry that I caused trouble to so many people & perhaps even embarrassment to my friends - one who got me the interview (Ben) and another one who thought he'd gotten me the interview (DL). I thought Ben would be upset but he's so understanding... told me not to worry & just go ahead to do whatever I deem was good for myself.
So in less than a week, I was jobless. Though I needed a break (never had one since I started working), it came at a totally unexpected timing. To think that I started that new job immediately after... I didn't have a day's rest as I was needed urgently.
Now, don't be shocked by what I'm going to say >>>>> I'm gone back to the place where I condemned for having too many arrogant people around.
I've been in contact with one of my bosses, Mr C, even after I left and he's the first, from my ex company, to know I dropped the new job. He promised to bring me back & talked to the HR Director... he didn't even ask why I gave that job up. I thought there's a chance to work for him again. But I didn't hear from HR. Though Mr C was one of those few partners who has crazy daily schedule (imagine... his meetings are always back-to-back every single day), he's so nice to follow up & text me to check whether HR contacted me. So was I crazy to give up such a wonderful boss??
Waiting game's always the worst game to play... it's just like wanting to get back to the ex after initiating a breakup. Seems like he's starting to move on but he asks for some time to consider. So every other minute you'd look at your cell phone, hoping it'll ring. And when it rings, you hope that it's his number that appears on the screen. That's what I told June when she talked about one of her exes and she found my description so amusing. The consolation being.... I haven't lost my sense of humor, huh.
Much as I didn't anticipate , I took the chance to rest... looked for jobs while waiting for HR to contact me as I gotta be prepared that I couldn't go back. Finally, they called me & asked me to meet my future boss (as I couldn't work for my ex-boss again). Interestingly, on that same day, I had 2 second interviews. I thought it's good so I could have all the answers around the same time. But it's very draining mentally.... at the end of the 3rd interview, my energy was completely depleted.
A couple of days later, I was offered all 3 jobs. It was a very tough decision to make as I was so afraid I would make the wrong choice again. Each job has its own set of plus points that I like and the bad ones deterred me. Eventually, I still chose to go back to my ex company mainly due to the welfare & remuneration package. Since I take this route, I will have to make myself fall in love with those unfavorable parts that come with the job.
It's good to be back. This time round, I've got quite a few friends around. Also met up with all my ex-bosses. Just last week, I had a chat with another ex-boss, Mr L who's a good friend of Mr C, & he said something which I couldn't decide whether I should be glad or sad. He said Mr C insisted to have me work under him again & that he preferred me over the one who's assigned (internal transfer) to him but HR was very firm on their stand, saying there're some rules & regulations. I know, it's not fair to everyone, especially to the one who's supposed to replace me, as all arrangements had already been done & I couldn't possibly mess the whole situation. Afterall, a partner doesn't have all the say... a big organisation like this has to be governed by some HR rules.
I choose to be happy about it... at least I'm still in the good books of my ex-bosses. Mr C has agreed to be my unofficial career coach and Mr L confirmed that Mr C is looking out for a good opportunity for me. With the current economic situation, I'm not too hopeful that it'll come soon though.
I'm going through the teething period now but I know God is great. I didn't know what I wanted and I was wilful but He is gracious... I had my rest(exactly 1 month as my last day of work was 9 Sept & I started work on 8 Oct) and I have a job now. The best of all is I've a great man in my life. Hubby didn't breathe a word of dismay or discouragement throughout this self-created mess. He's been so patient in encouraging me when I was going in cirlces, blaming myself for my own predicament. He's right... without trying, be it a good or bad choice, I would have always thought the pasture next door was greener. If I didn't take that step, I'd continue to be unhappy thinking I'd missed a great chance whenever I faced problems. How right.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Walking through the Valleys
Things are on the down side for the last 2 weeks. Feel worst when you're well aware that you've single-handedly contributed to what it is today.
I'm not in a mood to say yet. Will still get emotional... distressed... whenever I bring this up. It's getting less intense though.
I'm not in a mood to say yet. Will still get emotional... distressed... whenever I bring this up. It's getting less intense though.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
All the unknowns
I'm going to say bye to my 17-week old job.
I thought I'll be happy to take a back seat & enjoy what I'm doing now. Very stable working hours, good welfare & renumeration. As a new joiner, I got my bonus (was still in probation then). But I'm not happy... even more so when I received the confirmation letter.
I don't like what I'm doing now... I don't feel connected to the world at all. And the people here are so arrogant. Those whom I'm close to consoled me "don't be too bothered... in no time you'll be like them (to be exact >> cold & living in their own world)". The problem is... I do not want to be like one of them! Perhaps I'm too used to small company, I don't feel I'm part of this 2,000 staff strength organisation.
I can't promise I'll like my new job. But at least it's an industry that I've always been interested in/familiar with and I didn't get it easy. No doubt I've ample years of marketing & PR experience, I can't find the same job once I move on... not even one that's close to it. In fact, I daresay there are no more than 3 who do the exact same job as I did, so it's a complete job switch for me whatever position I go for in whichever trade. And when I told people what I did in my previous job, everyone would look amused & said "oh, you've a very unique (read: strange) job".
I've applied for no less than 10 similar openings and it's like throwing stones into the sea. I clearly knew very unlikely they would hire someone who's not at all from the related industry but to me there's no difference (as I'd face the same situation in all other job applications as well). Let's put it this way... if you can get to select many candidates with relevant experience among the pool of applicants, how high would the chance be for the one without (relevant experience) to be shortlisted?
I hadn't gone full force in job searching when I asked my friend , DL, who's the Senior Manager of a hotel to look out for me. In fact I hadn't started going through papers & online job sites.
Since the prospective employers didn't want to respond to my application through proper channels, I wanted to go by the side door to get interview opportunities (not job offers as it's a ridiculous request to both my friends & the employers). My main purpose was to vie for a chance to meet the interviewers in person, to convince them that I could be the right incumbent they're looking for, I wanted to change their perception of me not having relevant experience would mean I'm out.
My plan was:
(A) to try obtain interview opportunities through DL's contacts
(B) if that didn't work, would approach my ex-boss' good friend, who's a GM from one of the established hotels.
DL was quick to offer help. He knew the Malaysian-based Sxxxxx Hotels & Resorts was hiring & said would get me an interview. Later on, he asked me to email my CV to the Director, HN, instead. When he told me that, I sensed half the chance of meeting was gone. Nevertheless I still sent mine to HN.
Followed up by a call the following day. HN didn't sound keen as he said he's looking for someone who's experienced & has a relevant base of network. And I was from totally different industry. Despite me trying to convince him, he said would discuss with his Asst Director & revert. I reckoned that it's a diplomatic way of rejecting as I waited for a week & there's no news. My hope of clinching an interview through contacts was sort of burst. I was disappointed.
Then I remembered one of my KL friends, Ben, told me his uncle owns Sxxxxx Group of Hotels. Was hesitating.... do I really want to move in this direction? Eventually, I made a call to Ben & he's so nice to agree instantly. He said there'd be no problem in getting me an interview but couldn't promise me a job. That's all I asked for. He also offered me another job opportunity, that is, to set up a Singapore office for him; he's in a completely different business.
He contacted the CEO of Sxxxxx, HC, who asked Ben to sms him my details. HC must have contacted HN as within hours, I got a call from HN. He'd arranged to see me with his Asst Director:) And he copied HC in all the emails he sent me. Not sure whether it's the fact that I secured myself an interview or the strong desire to prevail over the one who rejected me (guess it's a mixture of both), I was happy when I got the news. Yet worried. Was worried that HN would make things difficult for me to prove that I was someone "unemployable".
In less than a week, I've also met Ben when he's here on a business trip. We talked about his plans of setting up a Singapore office. I was a lil moved by the proposal given the prospects & freedom but lots of canvassing work needed as well as a big portion of uncertainties. I was given some time to consider & also to go through the Sxxxxx interview first.
Gone for the interview which I thought turned out well. HN was very professional, so I had worried too much.
Just when I was caught in-between decisions - to go for Ben's or this one (that's if I was offered the job), I received a call from HN.... & yes, I got the job! I accepted without second thought... which means I've already made a decision. Ben was such a nice gentleman, he gave his blessing & we agreed to meet the next time, whether in KL or Spore.
My present bosses know where & what I'll be moving into... no intention to hide from them. Afterall, they are truly wonderful bosses & I've always been told by my colleagues that I'm very blessed to have 2 of the best bosses in the organisation. When I told them my intention to leave & their attempts to retain me failed, they actually told me to go back if I'm not happy working in the new company. Everything was discussed & settled in absolutely amiable atmosphere. They weren't even the least bit upset with someone who's only worked for a few months & now calls it quits. Saying they're nice is really an understatement.
As for myself, it's the very first time in my life that I've gone the unconventional way (I mean job wise). During the interview HN told me there're more than 60 applicants but they shortlisted only 5. I know I was nearly out.
Taking this as a stepping stone... it's a mid management position... at least I don't need to start from scratch.
I thought I'll be happy to take a back seat & enjoy what I'm doing now. Very stable working hours, good welfare & renumeration. As a new joiner, I got my bonus (was still in probation then). But I'm not happy... even more so when I received the confirmation letter.
I don't like what I'm doing now... I don't feel connected to the world at all. And the people here are so arrogant. Those whom I'm close to consoled me "don't be too bothered... in no time you'll be like them (to be exact >> cold & living in their own world)". The problem is... I do not want to be like one of them! Perhaps I'm too used to small company, I don't feel I'm part of this 2,000 staff strength organisation.
I can't promise I'll like my new job. But at least it's an industry that I've always been interested in/familiar with and I didn't get it easy. No doubt I've ample years of marketing & PR experience, I can't find the same job once I move on... not even one that's close to it. In fact, I daresay there are no more than 3 who do the exact same job as I did, so it's a complete job switch for me whatever position I go for in whichever trade. And when I told people what I did in my previous job, everyone would look amused & said "oh, you've a very unique (read: strange) job".
I've applied for no less than 10 similar openings and it's like throwing stones into the sea. I clearly knew very unlikely they would hire someone who's not at all from the related industry but to me there's no difference (as I'd face the same situation in all other job applications as well). Let's put it this way... if you can get to select many candidates with relevant experience among the pool of applicants, how high would the chance be for the one without (relevant experience) to be shortlisted?
I hadn't gone full force in job searching when I asked my friend , DL, who's the Senior Manager of a hotel to look out for me. In fact I hadn't started going through papers & online job sites.
Since the prospective employers didn't want to respond to my application through proper channels, I wanted to go by the side door to get interview opportunities (not job offers as it's a ridiculous request to both my friends & the employers). My main purpose was to vie for a chance to meet the interviewers in person, to convince them that I could be the right incumbent they're looking for, I wanted to change their perception of me not having relevant experience would mean I'm out.
My plan was:
(A) to try obtain interview opportunities through DL's contacts
(B) if that didn't work, would approach my ex-boss' good friend, who's a GM from one of the established hotels.
DL was quick to offer help. He knew the Malaysian-based Sxxxxx Hotels & Resorts was hiring & said would get me an interview. Later on, he asked me to email my CV to the Director, HN, instead. When he told me that, I sensed half the chance of meeting was gone. Nevertheless I still sent mine to HN.
Followed up by a call the following day. HN didn't sound keen as he said he's looking for someone who's experienced & has a relevant base of network. And I was from totally different industry. Despite me trying to convince him, he said would discuss with his Asst Director & revert. I reckoned that it's a diplomatic way of rejecting as I waited for a week & there's no news. My hope of clinching an interview through contacts was sort of burst. I was disappointed.
Then I remembered one of my KL friends, Ben, told me his uncle owns Sxxxxx Group of Hotels. Was hesitating.... do I really want to move in this direction? Eventually, I made a call to Ben & he's so nice to agree instantly. He said there'd be no problem in getting me an interview but couldn't promise me a job. That's all I asked for. He also offered me another job opportunity, that is, to set up a Singapore office for him; he's in a completely different business.
He contacted the CEO of Sxxxxx, HC, who asked Ben to sms him my details. HC must have contacted HN as within hours, I got a call from HN. He'd arranged to see me with his Asst Director:) And he copied HC in all the emails he sent me. Not sure whether it's the fact that I secured myself an interview or the strong desire to prevail over the one who rejected me (guess it's a mixture of both), I was happy when I got the news. Yet worried. Was worried that HN would make things difficult for me to prove that I was someone "unemployable".
In less than a week, I've also met Ben when he's here on a business trip. We talked about his plans of setting up a Singapore office. I was a lil moved by the proposal given the prospects & freedom but lots of canvassing work needed as well as a big portion of uncertainties. I was given some time to consider & also to go through the Sxxxxx interview first.
Gone for the interview which I thought turned out well. HN was very professional, so I had worried too much.
Just when I was caught in-between decisions - to go for Ben's or this one (that's if I was offered the job), I received a call from HN.... & yes, I got the job! I accepted without second thought... which means I've already made a decision. Ben was such a nice gentleman, he gave his blessing & we agreed to meet the next time, whether in KL or Spore.
My present bosses know where & what I'll be moving into... no intention to hide from them. Afterall, they are truly wonderful bosses & I've always been told by my colleagues that I'm very blessed to have 2 of the best bosses in the organisation. When I told them my intention to leave & their attempts to retain me failed, they actually told me to go back if I'm not happy working in the new company. Everything was discussed & settled in absolutely amiable atmosphere. They weren't even the least bit upset with someone who's only worked for a few months & now calls it quits. Saying they're nice is really an understatement.
As for myself, it's the very first time in my life that I've gone the unconventional way (I mean job wise). During the interview HN told me there're more than 60 applicants but they shortlisted only 5. I know I was nearly out.
Taking this as a stepping stone... it's a mid management position... at least I don't need to start from scratch.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
My New Neighbour & Adaptation
It's pure coincidence that June & I are neighbours now. I mean we work in the same building, of the many skyscrapers in Raffles Place. Have yet to lunch with her. Supposed to meet her last Fri but her meeting overran.
The office of my first job was just diagonally across from my present office. Surely there are lots of changes over the years & boy, the morning office crowd has also grown so much.
Last Fri, we took a break from driving (in fact it's more for hubby). We parked our car opposite Sun Plaza's Park&Ride & took the train to our offices. Wow, the throngs of people who got out of Raffles Place station were overwhelming!
And there's the lunch crowd. So far, other than lunching with a few of my new colleagues on some days, I'm just happy to take a stroll by myself (to get away from work) & get some bite size food at the stalls environ Arcade. I've always hated crowded eating places but guess I've no choice now. When I'm more settled in my new job, hope I can go lunch more often with my colleagues & learn the surviving skills amidst the aggressive, fast-moving lunch crowd. :P
Hubby said there's a can't-be-bothered attitude in those who work in Shenton Way/Raffles Place... especially when crossing the roads. It could be really frustrating for motorists. I guess it's the circumstances that make them this way?
The office of my first job was just diagonally across from my present office. Surely there are lots of changes over the years & boy, the morning office crowd has also grown so much.
Last Fri, we took a break from driving (in fact it's more for hubby). We parked our car opposite Sun Plaza's Park&Ride & took the train to our offices. Wow, the throngs of people who got out of Raffles Place station were overwhelming!
And there's the lunch crowd. So far, other than lunching with a few of my new colleagues on some days, I'm just happy to take a stroll by myself (to get away from work) & get some bite size food at the stalls environ Arcade. I've always hated crowded eating places but guess I've no choice now. When I'm more settled in my new job, hope I can go lunch more often with my colleagues & learn the surviving skills amidst the aggressive, fast-moving lunch crowd. :P
Hubby said there's a can't-be-bothered attitude in those who work in Shenton Way/Raffles Place... especially when crossing the roads. It could be really frustrating for motorists. I guess it's the circumstances that make them this way?
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Miss my Colleagues...
I had a surprise birthday celebration from my colleagues. It's my last in this office. I felt really loved there. But that's life.. when it's time to move on, we've to do so.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Some thoughts
Caught up with a friend over lunch last Fri. A very nice lady in her mid 40s but unlucky in love. The husband has a mistress since 5 years ago & has already shifted out (to stay with the mistress) for 2 years. She didn't divorce the husband & has still been supportive of his career & activities. To their mutual friends, they're still a loving couple. She hopes that one day, he'd be moved by her love & come back. I was like "huh?".. how can this be possible? I mean, how can this woman be so magnanimous?? Any, or most, woman would have left saved the last bit of pride that's leftby leaving the heartless man.
In case you're thinking she's a needy housewife who heavily relies on her hubby financially... not at all. She's from a very wealthy family & has a good career herself. She has a group of close friends whom she hangs out with & she's almost a god daughter to the late President Dr Wee Kim Wee.
I'm the only outlet for her to pour her woes with no holding back, as she said it. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I don't know her husband & friends bah.
We talked about Chinese New Year and understandably, she's not looking forward to it.
In fact, we're so surrounded by couples with bad marriage & I'm pretty sure they are not looking forward to CNY too.
The number is a lil too overwhelming, particularly this year. Just how many am I talking about? I use both hands to count.
Most of them are in separation, including our neighbour whom we didn't expect as we heard no fights & always saw them together & looked loving. Another one, my ex-colleague, who's known to be a wife-doting husband. Just before Christmas, he called me at night wanting to meet. But I was already on my way home with hubby. I didn't sense anything amiss. Then about 2 weeks later, he rang me up at 5am+. Yep 5am+! He's so drunk that he's slurring... asked what I was doing then (!??) & wanted to meet me for another round of drinks. I asked him to go home instead. When I woke up, I called his buddy who didn't know his problems. Sensing he's issues related to his marriage, it'd be more appropriate for his buddy to help & he agreed to keep me in the loop. And I was right, his wife left him. I asked (myself) lotsa whys...
Others are keeping the family intact superficially for the children's sake. Which is why nowadays, when I see seemingly happy families out there, I tend to ask myself... is this merely a beautiful front? Are they actually living separate lives? Is the guy keeping a girlfriend outside? Or maybe the wife? I admit I've grayed things too much. Hubby thinks I have as well but he understands... Afterall, with so many around us heading towards this direction plus if you know what I've been through in the past, you'll understand too.
Oh well, it's CNY Eve. I shoudn't be talking about such unhappy things. You see, Vince & I are looking forward to the CNY celebrations. In comparison, those who're close to us are experiencing marriage breakdowns & we don't feel good about it.
Vince & I just feel grateful that we're able to enjoy the bliss & overflowing love for each other. What's happening just serve as a constant reminder to not take things for granted.
Let's cherish each other & be a blessing to those around. :)
In case you're thinking she's a needy housewife who heavily relies on her hubby financially... not at all. She's from a very wealthy family & has a good career herself. She has a group of close friends whom she hangs out with & she's almost a god daughter to the late President Dr Wee Kim Wee.
I'm the only outlet for her to pour her woes with no holding back, as she said it. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I don't know her husband & friends bah.
We talked about Chinese New Year and understandably, she's not looking forward to it.
In fact, we're so surrounded by couples with bad marriage & I'm pretty sure they are not looking forward to CNY too.
The number is a lil too overwhelming, particularly this year. Just how many am I talking about? I use both hands to count.
Most of them are in separation, including our neighbour whom we didn't expect as we heard no fights & always saw them together & looked loving. Another one, my ex-colleague, who's known to be a wife-doting husband. Just before Christmas, he called me at night wanting to meet. But I was already on my way home with hubby. I didn't sense anything amiss. Then about 2 weeks later, he rang me up at 5am+. Yep 5am+! He's so drunk that he's slurring... asked what I was doing then (!??) & wanted to meet me for another round of drinks. I asked him to go home instead. When I woke up, I called his buddy who didn't know his problems. Sensing he's issues related to his marriage, it'd be more appropriate for his buddy to help & he agreed to keep me in the loop. And I was right, his wife left him. I asked (myself) lotsa whys...
Others are keeping the family intact superficially for the children's sake. Which is why nowadays, when I see seemingly happy families out there, I tend to ask myself... is this merely a beautiful front? Are they actually living separate lives? Is the guy keeping a girlfriend outside? Or maybe the wife? I admit I've grayed things too much. Hubby thinks I have as well but he understands... Afterall, with so many around us heading towards this direction plus if you know what I've been through in the past, you'll understand too.
Oh well, it's CNY Eve. I shoudn't be talking about such unhappy things. You see, Vince & I are looking forward to the CNY celebrations. In comparison, those who're close to us are experiencing marriage breakdowns & we don't feel good about it.
Vince & I just feel grateful that we're able to enjoy the bliss & overflowing love for each other. What's happening just serve as a constant reminder to not take things for granted.
Let's cherish each other & be a blessing to those around. :)
Friday, January 18, 2008
Revealed, for the first time
I like kids. To be precise, I like playing with kids. I can't imagine dedicating most of our time & money to take care of a child. I simply enjoy our couple-time too much. However I always get nagged at after voicing out this part of my thinking... "it's like this but once you have one, you'll naturally put your baby in the first place... you're no longer young, still don't want to give birth??... how can a family be complete without kids?? ...".
But I really don't feel the maternal call.
However it's true that I'm running out of time, my biological clock I mean. It's a crude fact. It's also my responsibility as a wife. Observing how Vince takes care of the kids around & is being well-liked by them, I don't doubt that hubby will be a good daddy. A playful one too ;)
Much as I wasn't for the idea of conceiving (I've acknowledged that the word 'not ready' is more appropriate for those who're younger as I've been rebutted too many times "huh? how old are you already? still not ready??" that I decide to take these 2 words off my mouth), I couldn't bring myself to explain to hubby. I wasn't even able to have a valid answer for myself about the unreadiness especially given my age, how was I going to convince him?
While trying to tell myself it's part & parcel of being married, I couldn't help but let out a big sigh of relief silently over a few times of false alarm.
Then some time mid of last year, hubby wanted to talk to me & asked me to keep an open mind about what he's going to say. He told me he's very contented with our present life-style. He'd be happy if we were to have a little one of our own but without, we've another type of joy. He didn't believe that a family could only be complete & blissful by expanding it. He'd been wanting to tell me when I started to talk about conceiving but was worried he couldn't put it right lest I misunderstood. Afterall it's a sensitive issue.
I couldn't believe it. His thoughts were like a duplicate set of mine! When I recalled, I think he did try to drop hints like "even next time with kids, they'll never take your place in my heart... next time if without kids, we would be able to save more & tour around the world together...".
Though I always claim we've telepathy, never did I expect it would be to this extent. It's gonna be very tough if we couldn't see eye to eye. So we thank God for us.
Nearly 90% of my friends are married with kids. Those of hubby are starting to go this direction too. And we've nieces & nephew. In a way we're well surrounded by young families. Though everyone's sharing how much joy children have brought to them & how their lives been changed, we do not yearn to be parents.
And I'm surprised that in our modern world, there're still people telling me to have a baby to 'spice' up otherwise monotonous life (did I ever say our married life is monotonous??). Kids will keep a marriage intact (err... no... I don't believe in this too after being through & seeing so much). We're extremely happy like this, cannot meh?
Both of us also don't believe in 养儿防老, perhaps it's due to what we see around us. The closest example is actually found in my own family, sadly. I can't explain how we think exactly & why, it's just amazing that we've the same conviction. That's the most important.
Having said the above, we're taking it naturally. We'll be thankful if down the road we've Vincent &/or Kelly junior as children are very precious gift from God. Without, we're happy to enjoy our love life. So carefree. We never run out of things to do... even a walk downstairs is so relishable.
We both agree what's more important is our health. Especially this year, I wish I will be healthier.
This is supposed to be our secret as we've decided to stop explaining ourselves to others. It's really an earful to be getting the same old & long 'advice'. They don't understand us. Thank God our families from both sides have been really cool about it. No question asked so far. Those who nag are surprisingly friends & colleagues (mine).
So if you read this, the next time you meet us you know what to say & what not right? :)
One day we might have a different take on our priorities in life. If this really happens, I pray that God will change the both of us at the same time, just like how He's done to us about half a year ago.
But I really don't feel the maternal call.
However it's true that I'm running out of time, my biological clock I mean. It's a crude fact. It's also my responsibility as a wife. Observing how Vince takes care of the kids around & is being well-liked by them, I don't doubt that hubby will be a good daddy. A playful one too ;)
Much as I wasn't for the idea of conceiving (I've acknowledged that the word 'not ready' is more appropriate for those who're younger as I've been rebutted too many times "huh? how old are you already? still not ready??" that I decide to take these 2 words off my mouth), I couldn't bring myself to explain to hubby. I wasn't even able to have a valid answer for myself about the unreadiness especially given my age, how was I going to convince him?
While trying to tell myself it's part & parcel of being married, I couldn't help but let out a big sigh of relief silently over a few times of false alarm.
Then some time mid of last year, hubby wanted to talk to me & asked me to keep an open mind about what he's going to say. He told me he's very contented with our present life-style. He'd be happy if we were to have a little one of our own but without, we've another type of joy. He didn't believe that a family could only be complete & blissful by expanding it. He'd been wanting to tell me when I started to talk about conceiving but was worried he couldn't put it right lest I misunderstood. Afterall it's a sensitive issue.
I couldn't believe it. His thoughts were like a duplicate set of mine! When I recalled, I think he did try to drop hints like "even next time with kids, they'll never take your place in my heart... next time if without kids, we would be able to save more & tour around the world together...".
Though I always claim we've telepathy, never did I expect it would be to this extent. It's gonna be very tough if we couldn't see eye to eye. So we thank God for us.
Nearly 90% of my friends are married with kids. Those of hubby are starting to go this direction too. And we've nieces & nephew. In a way we're well surrounded by young families. Though everyone's sharing how much joy children have brought to them & how their lives been changed, we do not yearn to be parents.
And I'm surprised that in our modern world, there're still people telling me to have a baby to 'spice' up otherwise monotonous life (did I ever say our married life is monotonous??). Kids will keep a marriage intact (err... no... I don't believe in this too after being through & seeing so much). We're extremely happy like this, cannot meh?
Both of us also don't believe in 养儿防老, perhaps it's due to what we see around us. The closest example is actually found in my own family, sadly. I can't explain how we think exactly & why, it's just amazing that we've the same conviction. That's the most important.
Having said the above, we're taking it naturally. We'll be thankful if down the road we've Vincent &/or Kelly junior as children are very precious gift from God. Without, we're happy to enjoy our love life. So carefree. We never run out of things to do... even a walk downstairs is so relishable.
We both agree what's more important is our health. Especially this year, I wish I will be healthier.
This is supposed to be our secret as we've decided to stop explaining ourselves to others. It's really an earful to be getting the same old & long 'advice'. They don't understand us. Thank God our families from both sides have been really cool about it. No question asked so far. Those who nag are surprisingly friends & colleagues (mine).
So if you read this, the next time you meet us you know what to say & what not right? :)
One day we might have a different take on our priorities in life. If this really happens, I pray that God will change the both of us at the same time, just like how He's done to us about half a year ago.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Rare topic
Besides monetary remuneration, I guess the best satisfaction one could derive from his job is recognition from the boss.
Vince now reports to a great boss who's always willing to give opportunities to learn & to advance, who's also caring & clicks very well with subordinates & colleagues. Knowing it's just a matter of time that hubby will leave as this is not exactly what he wants to do, last week his boss proposed a newly created position to him with a totally different set of JD. Very interesting yet challenging. Good advancement prospects too if there's result.
Currently hubby's very busy as he's wearing 2 hats till someone takes over his present job. Heard they're about to conduct interviews... meaning he'll still have to juggle for at least another month?
As for me, be ready for another long story............
I had the biggest quarrel with my boss last April. The root of it was my Vietnam trip. It's a preparatory trip for the following month's commercial mission. Told him prior to my departure that I only needed 2 days in Hanoi, 2 days in HCMC & could be back on Thurs instead of Fri. But he wasn't for it as he thought I should try to do more in Vietnam & be back on Fri as planned. However I still went ahead to book myself a flight back on Thurs. At HCMC airport, boss happened to call. When he knew I was about to board a plane, he was furious. Really furious & shouted that I didn't inform him. I argued but the real reason was I knew he'd object to it. I could have obeyed by staying for another day & night without any agenda, just for leisure. But I had work on hand.. I wanted to come back to settle the urgent matters. There's so much to do within a month. And of course, it's also because I missed hubby terribly & wanted to see him sooner.
That's the 1st time in all these years I've worked for him that he raised his voice at me & got so angry. I knew I was at fault. I could have a million reasons but I guess he felt disrespected. To think the stress from the upcoming events had overpowered me so much that I risked angering him. After he slammed my phone, I knew it's time for me to go. I'd enough of those mission problems which seemed to be getting from bad to worse & then my boss.
So I resigned the next day & determined to go even after he spent nearly an hour persuading me to stay. But before I knew what I was getting myself into, I relented to giving him 5.5 months' notice, ie end Sept. Even for someone who holds a senior management position only needs to give 3 months! Hubby was too shock to comment when I called & told him. Everyone said I was stupid. I think I was. My weakness is always being too soft-hearted. Afterall he's been nice to me (except for a few times). He'd also proposed some attractive monetary conditions (not pay increment though as he said it's difficult since the principal didn't increase our contract fees). Told me I would always be welcomed to stay if I were to change my mind.
Not long after I tendered, big boss who's based in Jakarta also had a word with me. He wanted to keep me in the company but I was vague.
In August when boss was back from his 1-month vacation, I told him I would stay till Feb 2008 since it's not easy to get a job nearing year end. And I could also take things much easier as there wasn't much work from Oct - Feb. Surprisingly he's happy about my decision, saying he wouldn't want to give up any chance of me staying. But I was glad to be leaving at the right time as there would be major restructuring by our principal to all international reps this April.
Just last Thursday, boss had another round of talk with me. He again wished that I would stay. My decision: I'll stay. Why? He intended to match the pay I'd in mind (to my surprise!) while doing lesser of the routine. The 'mission' part would still be there but the big attraction gotta be less travelling for me. He repeatedly said that he's happy with my performance (& each time he said that he had to add "but if similar incident happens again, I'll still do the same" :\). Obviously he's truly upset with what happened previously. Frankly, who wouldn't? I've to agree with him that I'm used to not having anyone lording over me most of the time. And that it's better to work for a boss who appreciates me than for someone who doesn't. The fact that he does come to me whenever he has doubts in his English & often says I'm his English teacher somewhat flatters me, to think that it’s your knowledgeable & autocratic boss says that to you. And I seriously do not think my English is that good at all.
I couldn't think of a valid reason to reject. Not as yet. Besides, I do enjoy the privacy & convenience of the office.
Of course, what he proposed to me would have to first go through our principal.
Was especially touched when he said in the event that our relationship with principal failed, he still wished that I would continue working for him. That's if I'm willing to have a complete job switch. Till then I'll think about it.
We must thank God that He gave the both of us some form of assurance almost at the same time.
That doesn't mean we won't face any hardship or criticism at work. It might just be the next minute that the boss thinks my report sucks.
So just rejoice while we can & brace up during the tough times.
Vince now reports to a great boss who's always willing to give opportunities to learn & to advance, who's also caring & clicks very well with subordinates & colleagues. Knowing it's just a matter of time that hubby will leave as this is not exactly what he wants to do, last week his boss proposed a newly created position to him with a totally different set of JD. Very interesting yet challenging. Good advancement prospects too if there's result.
Currently hubby's very busy as he's wearing 2 hats till someone takes over his present job. Heard they're about to conduct interviews... meaning he'll still have to juggle for at least another month?
As for me, be ready for another long story............
I had the biggest quarrel with my boss last April. The root of it was my Vietnam trip. It's a preparatory trip for the following month's commercial mission. Told him prior to my departure that I only needed 2 days in Hanoi, 2 days in HCMC & could be back on Thurs instead of Fri. But he wasn't for it as he thought I should try to do more in Vietnam & be back on Fri as planned. However I still went ahead to book myself a flight back on Thurs. At HCMC airport, boss happened to call. When he knew I was about to board a plane, he was furious. Really furious & shouted that I didn't inform him. I argued but the real reason was I knew he'd object to it. I could have obeyed by staying for another day & night without any agenda, just for leisure. But I had work on hand.. I wanted to come back to settle the urgent matters. There's so much to do within a month. And of course, it's also because I missed hubby terribly & wanted to see him sooner.
That's the 1st time in all these years I've worked for him that he raised his voice at me & got so angry. I knew I was at fault. I could have a million reasons but I guess he felt disrespected. To think the stress from the upcoming events had overpowered me so much that I risked angering him. After he slammed my phone, I knew it's time for me to go. I'd enough of those mission problems which seemed to be getting from bad to worse & then my boss.
So I resigned the next day & determined to go even after he spent nearly an hour persuading me to stay. But before I knew what I was getting myself into, I relented to giving him 5.5 months' notice, ie end Sept. Even for someone who holds a senior management position only needs to give 3 months! Hubby was too shock to comment when I called & told him. Everyone said I was stupid. I think I was. My weakness is always being too soft-hearted. Afterall he's been nice to me (except for a few times). He'd also proposed some attractive monetary conditions (not pay increment though as he said it's difficult since the principal didn't increase our contract fees). Told me I would always be welcomed to stay if I were to change my mind.
Not long after I tendered, big boss who's based in Jakarta also had a word with me. He wanted to keep me in the company but I was vague.
In August when boss was back from his 1-month vacation, I told him I would stay till Feb 2008 since it's not easy to get a job nearing year end. And I could also take things much easier as there wasn't much work from Oct - Feb. Surprisingly he's happy about my decision, saying he wouldn't want to give up any chance of me staying. But I was glad to be leaving at the right time as there would be major restructuring by our principal to all international reps this April.
Just last Thursday, boss had another round of talk with me. He again wished that I would stay. My decision: I'll stay. Why? He intended to match the pay I'd in mind (to my surprise!) while doing lesser of the routine. The 'mission' part would still be there but the big attraction gotta be less travelling for me. He repeatedly said that he's happy with my performance (& each time he said that he had to add "but if similar incident happens again, I'll still do the same" :\). Obviously he's truly upset with what happened previously. Frankly, who wouldn't? I've to agree with him that I'm used to not having anyone lording over me most of the time. And that it's better to work for a boss who appreciates me than for someone who doesn't. The fact that he does come to me whenever he has doubts in his English & often says I'm his English teacher somewhat flatters me, to think that it’s your knowledgeable & autocratic boss says that to you. And I seriously do not think my English is that good at all.
I couldn't think of a valid reason to reject. Not as yet. Besides, I do enjoy the privacy & convenience of the office.
Of course, what he proposed to me would have to first go through our principal.
Was especially touched when he said in the event that our relationship with principal failed, he still wished that I would continue working for him. That's if I'm willing to have a complete job switch. Till then I'll think about it.
We must thank God that He gave the both of us some form of assurance almost at the same time.
That doesn't mean we won't face any hardship or criticism at work. It might just be the next minute that the boss thinks my report sucks.
So just rejoice while we can & brace up during the tough times.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Her Story
Chatted with an acquaintance last Sat.
It all began with her asking us to help keep a lookout on new job opportunities. She's in mid 20s, a mum of two. She knows it's not easy to find another job with high pay which she so needs it. Her main limitations4 sec school dropout & understands very little English. Then came her ranting about work & family.
She married a Malaysian at 16 & had her 1st child at 18. Left the husband 3 months after the birth of her daughter. Later, her current husband, then suitor, pulled her out from some illegal business she got involved in & brought her back to Singapore. Also helped to obtain all legal documents for her girl to live here permanently. They now have a son of their own.
It should be a happy ending for a defiant gal but it's actually just the start of another rocky path.
The husband left his job soon after they got married. Has since been earning barely enough to feed himself as a night shift cab driver. Not helping out with housework nor taking care of the children as he wants to catch up on his sleep in the day. So she has to pay for most of the expenses besides servicing a loan she got from her family member for the purchase of their flat. She's a retail sales job and after the long working hours, the only time she has to get her housework done is late night. Every month she also has to pay quite a sum to his mum who's staying with them to solely look after the kids at home (ie. no shuttling between schools & home, no housework). What really dumfounded us was when she said the flat was bought under the names of her husband & MIL.
She's ever thought of leaving him but her own parents have declared that they don't have extra space to accomodate her & won't look after her daughter too. Also, all the legal documents concerning her daughter have been locked up by her husband.
She's not sure was it out of gratitude that she married him.
After the session, hubby & I just looked at each other, no solution apparently. If everything she said was true, whichever route she chooses, it's going to be tough.
Well... another unhappy marriage that we've heard of.
It all began with her asking us to help keep a lookout on new job opportunities. She's in mid 20s, a mum of two. She knows it's not easy to find another job with high pay which she so needs it. Her main limitations4 sec school dropout & understands very little English. Then came her ranting about work & family.
She married a Malaysian at 16 & had her 1st child at 18. Left the husband 3 months after the birth of her daughter. Later, her current husband, then suitor, pulled her out from some illegal business she got involved in & brought her back to Singapore. Also helped to obtain all legal documents for her girl to live here permanently. They now have a son of their own.
It should be a happy ending for a defiant gal but it's actually just the start of another rocky path.
The husband left his job soon after they got married. Has since been earning barely enough to feed himself as a night shift cab driver. Not helping out with housework nor taking care of the children as he wants to catch up on his sleep in the day. So she has to pay for most of the expenses besides servicing a loan she got from her family member for the purchase of their flat. She's a retail sales job and after the long working hours, the only time she has to get her housework done is late night. Every month she also has to pay quite a sum to his mum who's staying with them to solely look after the kids at home (ie. no shuttling between schools & home, no housework). What really dumfounded us was when she said the flat was bought under the names of her husband & MIL.
She's ever thought of leaving him but her own parents have declared that they don't have extra space to accomodate her & won't look after her daughter too. Also, all the legal documents concerning her daughter have been locked up by her husband.
She's not sure was it out of gratitude that she married him.
After the session, hubby & I just looked at each other, no solution apparently. If everything she said was true, whichever route she chooses, it's going to be tough.
Well... another unhappy marriage that we've heard of.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Men in 40s
I've concluded after some observation and personal experiences that men in their 40s always want to be Mr Know-It-All. Perhaps they think that at this stage of their lives, they've already been through EVERY thing... or at least this is how they want to be perceived as. Interestingly, the more successful (career wise) they are, the less obvious of a Mr KIA I see in them usually. And some have even prematurely attained that level in their mid 30s.
So, how to identify one?
Characteristics :
- You will never hear him say - "I don't know" / "I'm not sure" / "is it?" / "really?".
- When you say yes, he'll say no... when you say no, he'll say yes... with the intention of giving you more insights so you'll be impressed by how much he knows.
- Whenever you mention something, he definitely has some other info to add on & elaborate. Perhaps he thinks it's his responsibility to "enlighten" those around him who are all ignorant.
- His choice is always the best. To prove his point, he won't hesitate to belittle you or your choice.
A classic eg. - when we happen to be on some topics that he's familiar with, he would relate his personal experiences to let you know that he's been there done that. Well there's nothing wrong. But imagine every single thing you talk about he'll want to have a part in it & gives you a déjà vu tone? If it's something they don't seemingly know well.. they would usually pause for a second or two.. then go "aiya.. actually it's the same everywhere one lah...".
So when talking with this type of people, it's only a 1-way communication. Their main purpose is to let you know how knowledgeable & experienced they are.
We have the best example here in office whom I call The Supreme among all present & ex colleagues. I don't have patience talking to this kinda people... totally a waste of time (but if relatives, then no choice.. gotta endure & act dumb lor... what to do?). He's the first man that I don't even want to look at... let alone talk with. The biggest relief is that I don't get to meet this Mr KIA while my poor colleague has to put up with him as they are sitting next to each other. Sometimes when she can't take it, she'll run to complain to me.
I believe he knows I'm avoiding him since last week. Frankly I don't mind he knows & I hope things will remain this way.
And he's good ok.. 1 person holds 2 title.. Mr KIA & Mr Fake.
Shall end with 2 questions to ponder over:
(1) Will a person who genuinely leads a simple life by choice (according to what he always stresses4 doesn't own a vehicle by choice, lives in a simple flat by choice, seldom eats in restaurants by choice...) place heavy bets on 4D & very much involve in shares trading?
(2) Is buying 4D an addiction or an investment? And I don't mean small bets.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Endeavor
I've started to take another route. It may lead to no where.. I may be back to square one.... But hubby & I are praying for God's guidance. If we don't try, we won't know. Afterall, there isn't much to lose for trying.
It has hence kept me busy but I'm happy. I've never ever thought I would take this step though I've always been interested in all related stuff and the encounters we've had over the last 4 years have truly enriched us.
I must thank hubby for his utmost support. I'm very touched by what he has been doing for me.
The greatest blessing in my life (besides having God) is to have a husband who is proud of me at all times... not only when I'm successful, not only when I look glamorous... and the fact is I'm just a very ordinary person. He must have loved me very much to be able to do so.
It has hence kept me busy but I'm happy. I've never ever thought I would take this step though I've always been interested in all related stuff and the encounters we've had over the last 4 years have truly enriched us.
I must thank hubby for his utmost support. I'm very touched by what he has been doing for me.
The greatest blessing in my life (besides having God) is to have a husband who is proud of me at all times... not only when I'm successful, not only when I look glamorous... and the fact is I'm just a very ordinary person. He must have loved me very much to be able to do so.
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