The Handover & The Preludes. Part II.

After the ecstasy of the sale soon came my worries. I'd just started new job that needed lots of time in training & adapting. Then hubby would be starting his new job in a couple of weeks' time too. We know it's not advisable for both to change job at the same time but things happened in a way that we each got a new job almost simultaneously. So we encouraged ourselves to be optimistic... & let's focus on our new jobs for the moment. But I truly didn't expect that our place would be sold that soon. I asked God... why everything happened at the same time.... when I thought it's his plan for me to change job...... why? I dreaded the mere thought of having to juggle between a totally new job & moving, & home searching.. hubby would be busy in his new job too... & all the packing... my back......

After praying for a few nights & with hubby's backing, I decided to resign... honestly.. it's a relief after I made that decision. Then back in the office the next day, I told EH. He's very disappointed... so were the bosses. They said they had big plans for me but I didn't give myself a chance. They counter offered to let me stop work for a month to settle my housing issues. But I was determined to go as I'd lots of things to check out, to settle..

Yet there's this immense guilt in me as the bosses were very nice.. they granted immediate release (when it's supposed to be 2 weeks' notice during probation) but still paid me for that 2 weeks. And they told me to join them again if I'd settled all that I should have & was still interested in the job. Yes, they're just being too nice..... But I've really upset EH who fought a lot of benefits for me....

A girlfriend told me.. moving house wasn't the main reason.. but me not liking the job enough, was. And I hate to admit it. I did have "culture shock" on my 1st day of work. I couldn't find the toilet & was shock to learn that it's located at the other end of the compound, about a 2-minute shelterless walk from the single storey office building. I usually drink a lot of water, so naturally will go to washroom more often. My 1st thought was "if it rains, every time I go toilet I've to take an umbrella?" Also no shelter to the pantry. And the pantry was infested with big black ants. Alright, I could be too fussy:( I've been working in town/CBD since my 1st job so this is very new to me. But I asked quite a few of my friends & they, too, felt that it's strange to not having the toilet within the same premise. Am I defensive? So this is Doubt no. 1.

Doubt no. 2: I'd made known to EH prior joining that I'd not work on Saturdays. He acceded my request except for the 1st 3 months & I could accept that. But after I joined, I got to know that the monthly meeting was on every 3rd Sat. Then EH said it'd be best if I could join for just that 3 hours every month... so that'd mean working 1 Sat every month (as working hours are 8.30am-12.30pm on Saturdays) which I wasn't that willing to compromise.

Doubt no. 3: Afterall, I still couldn't bring myself to like this trade. Previously I'd chances to get into this business but I declined. I thought I'd have changed after these years. Guess it should be the crux of all doubts?

Till now I don't know what are God's plans for me in the future. I don't know why things turned out this way. Maybe one day, I'll know. Though I'm very happy with the break I'm having now, I do feel bad for ruining my own CV for the past 1 year. I'm truly upset with myself for the mess I continually get myself into. Without hubby's support, I might have slipped into a self-blaming & depressing state. Hubby has always managed to give new perspective of things.