Pampering the Bride

Plan to make a trip to JB this weekend or next, mainly for my mani & pedicure. A nearly 3-hr session costs 40-50% cheaper including massage, paraffin wax & all. We plan to go there once every month to pamper my hands & feet till our wedding. Hopefully after wedding I'll still be motivated enough to make the monthly visit... otherwise no more treats for my hands/feet as I find it too ex in Singapore for a similar complete treatment. Hehee… sounds like the typical Singaporean huh? No choice! Especially if it’s a monthly thing, can save a lot when adding up!

We used to visit JB pretty often before my vehicle was scrapped. This particular group of mani/pedicurists whom I frequently patronized never fail to tell me Vince's a very rare bf to find, being so patient & loving as he would wait for me & feed me with food/drinks whenever we were there. But sometimes he did doze off...
It’ll likely be a day trip... gonna take the chance to have a good spread of Jap food… know of 1 -2 nice Jap restaurants there.

Healing = Patience + Obedience

Can’t wait for my skin to recover… so that it’ll be ready for the trial makeup session mid of next month.

In the mean time, no more sun tanning for me In fact will not be able to enjoy the afternoon swim for as long as.. I don’t know. Can only swim in the evening… hmmm... Not gonna throw my honey’s hard earned $$ down the (in this case) pool! All blame it on my vanity… but my skin is really getting worse & who doesn’t want to be a radiant bride?

Oh no…… will be having a BBQ gathering next month with the family, my aunts & cousins which will start in the afternoon. So I’ll miss the frolic of playing pool games with my siblings, cousins & of coz Vince?? Or perhaps I’ll wear an umbrella-hat & put lotsa sunblock??
Well… guess sometimes I can’t have everything. Better be more obedient & happy just playing the camera man role & munching BBQ chicken wings! (ohoh… not too much bbq food too as it’s heaty!)

For now, a great extent of patience & discipline is needed. Can’t bring myself to face the mirror, especially the 1st 2 days! Now it’s peeling, like after a serious sunburn. I can’t help but using my fingernails to peel off the dead skin that’s appearing, against my doc’s instructions.
Helpppp…..! I need a plastic, transparent mask to protect my now-delicate face from the invasion of my own fingers!!!!

A Better Understanding

In fact we have been doing everything together as he said it is OUR wedding & not MY wedding & that he’s the only 1 who has the privilege to be involved in the planning & preparations.
So far it has been wonderful, not like some of my friends told me – stressful, tired, quarrels & being in an 1-man show (an over-worked bride-2B).We did have 1 quarrel b4... it was at the beginning of the preps when I felt we were planning for a wedding that I wanted instead of 'we'. He agreed to everything I suggested, so I wandered if he's ever keen about it...When we thrashed things out, he thought it's usually the girl who's more ideas to have the wedding in its best form. So my 'responsibility' will be to voice out my wishes & his 'responsibility' will be to fulfill my dreams. And said he's only 1 wish for our wedding, which is to make me the happiest bride (oooh....!)... that he'll be happiest when I'm happy. If one of my gfs were to tell me this was the conversation between her & hubby, I'd think it's too mushy! But these words were from my beloved man and it was so so sweet to hear. Hehe!

Our argument of course ended with much more love & most importantly a better understanding of each other's expectations. Nevertheless we have agreed that he'll voice out if he has any suggestion or if I were to go off-track (financially).

Anyway... lately I'm having breakouts around my jawline & it's annoying... guess it’s a vicious cycle – the more frustrated I get, the more zits in return, the more I see them on my face, the more ….. Grrrr…!
So went for a very ex facial treatment (near to a 4-figure!!) yesterday…. Compliments from my fiance! Yeah….! Thank you honey.... Muakzzzzz!

Having the redness today… then comes the peeling very soon…. As if that’s not enough… am having a sorethroat & a bit of body ache. That’s why we are grounded this weekend.

[Music]

I love music… in office, on the road, at home, bedtime, showertime ……
So naturally it becomes a very important part of our preps. I believe playing the right music at the right time will be a perfect supplement to the blissful moments we gonna share with our loved ones. I am selecting each & every one of the songs & instrumental for the 4-hour reception.
All songs to be played during the reception revolve ‘Romance & Wedding’. It’ll be a mixture of jazz (the base) & ballads including some oldies like Ray Charles’s When A Man Loves A Woman. To date I’ve chosen about 120 mins of songs, so half done already! After completing the selection, we’ll compile them into several CDs according to the various segments of the event. I don’t find it tedious at all as it feels so great whenever I've found a beautiful song that fits perfectly into our program... it's as if speaking of our love & joy throughout the celebration.

Besides contributing his share of fav songs, Vince is very enthusiastic too & both of us have been busy acquiring sources & tools together for our Wedding Music Album. I really appreciate my honey for sharing my passion & supporting this project.

Shhhh..... Observation in progress

Being part of our budgeting, we try to utilize the available resources around us.
Like:

- Vince’s uncle (his mum’s younger brother) agrees to loan his vehicle as our bridal car (RX300 model) and he will be our driver of the day :) He has even changed his traveling schedule because of our big day!

- We have also asked another of Vince’s uncle (his mum’s younger sis’ hubby) to be the photographer of the whole event. And he asked us whether we prefer pro or digital cam…

- My dad has about 2 video cams and has all the equipment to compile the recording into DVDs. And we are still thinking of a suitable person to take up this important task. Hmm… guess we need to observe for a while who’s more responsible, has steady hands and noble enough to sacrifice his enjoyment time with the rest to stick with us for almost the whole day. Hehee…
Or maybe to be safe, we have 2 video men?? Just in case one’s work is not satisfactory we still have a backup??? But 1 is already difficult to find, how to get 2???

Are we pleasers, are we not ?

My friend, Jamie, called & said: “Kelly, tell u something but don’t be angry ok……. My sis attended a wedding dinner at Ritz Carlton last weekend and she said the food there was…not.. ehh.. that.. fantastic.” My reply: “It’s ok! I can’t please every1… as long as we know what we want..” “….Oh… ... tatz gd ….... ”

Yes, I told her that. Perhaps her hierarchy of importance is different so she was a lil taken aback by my response & at a loss of words. But don't you think it's true we can't please everybody? Just 1 single dish could have varied comments... while it could be too saltish to one, the other might find it just nice but the meat not too fresh? Another would say it's a lil overcooked... Or maybe the serving is not big enough?

I've attended functions there including cocktail receptions & wedding dinners so I somewhat already have an idea. But our priorities, like said, are different though the size of each serving is of high importance to us and for that I don't think it's a problem.. also I've no doubt in their presentation of the food served.
So I'm sorry to some of my friends who will be there & are particular about wedding food! But it's not that bad lah... just that normally we have high expectations on a hotel of such grade.

Conclusion - When we were in-between decisions, that was the toughest part. We needed to weigh the +ves & -ves, what would please us more & at the same time be pleasing to our guests... Furthermore we have our own restrictions too... it's mainly the number of guests & not like we have lotsa $$$ to splurge.
So once we have made the decisions & committed, there'll be no more regrets because we know we have already chosen the best of all options with much consideraton and if we were to be given a 2nd chance we would still take the same offer. So we promised to remind each other of that whenever either of us show a sign of disappointment. But so far we are cool about it....!

Reveal too much? I don't think so...the place is bare & not even I can imagine how it's gonna look like when it's done up ;)

Front: Setting for Solemnisation
Left: Grand Ballroom
Right: Glass door to garden
Back: Here comes the bride

Give N Take

The other day we had dinner with Vince’s family. His mum seemed all excited about the upcoming occasion. Almost the whole night, she had been talking about it… what would be given to my parents on the day of distributing wedding cakes + actual day & what we should reciprocate… the actual day’s schedule… what she gonna wear for tea ceremony (think she hasn’t come to the reception part, so she didn’t mention about it hehee..)… and even the sequential arrangement of their relatives during the tea ceremony!

Talking about tea ceremony, my MIL2b wanted Vince (& of course, inclusive of me) to greet his 2nd aunt “Godma” when offering her tea and that she would come just after Vince’s parents. Vince was very resistant as they only talked about it when he’s a child without having any official ceremony. Most importantly they have not been acknowledging each other as that all this while, so he found it awkward to suddenly address her as godmother. His mum was obviously very upset over his son’s rejection. But later Vince agreed to it after some persuasion from me as I felt that it will not affect us by giving in to his mum. I don’t see any harm to it… it’d make his mum & her sis happy... and who knows, we might even get a fatter angpao just because of a change in the title, haha! Of course there are things we have to be firm and certain matters we can give in to them. Eg. his mum wanted to invite some extended relatives & she tried talking about it a few times but could not change our mind as we gotta strictly constrain to the number we set. We also explained to her that by inviting only some of the extended ones would create misunderstandings from the rest who are not invited, so the best is none (as it can't be all).
I guess we really have to practice the art of tolerance & insistence to make it a joyous event by pleasing our parents without compromising our own plans & wishes.

Well, in general we’re very glad to feel his family’s excitement & our joy is being shared

Where It Will Be ...

The most mind-splitting period was deciding on the venue. We had several in mind, from mid to high range, to which we paid site visits. It sounds a bit silly for we both enjoyed visiting the hotels, trying to visualize how it would be like if we were to hold our reception there.
It was tough to choose over the shortlisted ones, including:
- Merchant Court. Very comfortable charges but it’s a very basic package, ie. only includes food (no bev) & some floral arrangements on each table.
Verdict4 It’s actually a “no” in our mind but the big attraction was its price that made us hesitant for a while.
- Equinox at Swissotel. Meant for private functions. Wide selection of food, comes with f/f soft drinks & offers panoramic view on 69th floor! Full privacy as whole level will be reserved for that 1 function. For those who’ve been to New Asia Bar would know where it is exactly. Comes with a bit more frills like chair sash & floral centerpiece on each table.
Verdict4 Liked the ambience & intimate yet classy feel. However we thought their biggest function room is still a lil small.
See attached pic.















- Inter-Continental. Package which is considered reasonably priced includes food & soft drinks f/f. 2 possible venues to hold our event. One is the normal function room & the other is at the basement whereby the whole common area will be at our disposal. The latter is a dimly lit vault with very interesting décor where it exudes mysterious & nostalgic air. Quite an appealing offer… was invited to view the actual setting for a wedding couple that day.
Verdict4 Quite nicely done-up with maroon chair sash. Were also taken by the flexibility of their menu… could be quite customized. But again, space problem.
See attached pic.















- Amara. The first hotel we viewed. It’s a real value for money. Besides inclusive of food & f/f aerated bevs, a night’s accommodation is offered (the only 1 in these 5), though comes with minimal decors..
Verdict4 Initially more interested in their poolside reception but concluded that it could be stressful for us to be at the mercy of the weather. Very possibly it would be either too warm or rainy. Anyway for both outdoor & indoor, not very impressed with the concepts proposed. So “no”.
- The Sentosa (formerly Beaufort). No visit. It sounded pretty attractive though in terms of location as the proposed function room opens up onto a terrace + lawn area overlooking the South China sea. So we can use both the room as well as the terrace. Imagine having solemnization surrounded by the greens & the sea then proceed on to indoors for the reception. It’s like having ‘the best of both worlds’ huh.
Verdict4 “No” eventually as the package was pathetic compared to the price quoted. Nothing comes with it, literally nothing, not even floral décor, except a stingy menu on food.

Frankly it is rather normal for the few or no frills offered as we don’t meet the usual minimum number of guests (mostly 200 pax). So you can imagine our headache. It doesn’t help at all when I am (super) fussy over certain things.

In the end….. our choice is Ritz Carlton. This venue topped our list but was the last to visit due to the schedule of the hotel’s wedding planner. So we had a good 2 weeks+ to digest all the packages proposed by the said hotels. After we visited Ritz, we knew this would be the one. It’s the most expensive among all but, besides a generous menu & f/f soft drinks, also comes with lotsa add-ons:
- 6 flower pedestals of candles & fresh flowers along the aisle
- chiffon draping in the room
- an AV team at our disposal
- invites
But the best of all is the 1-night stay in their marina view Premier Suite!















I’ve totally no doubts in Ritz’ standard of services as I’ve held a few business functions there before and their guestroom is really superb, even for a normal deluxe!
We are real impressed by its extent of customization - being pampered with a wide choice….from selection of flowers & designs as the floral pedestals to the colors of the chair sash. At our request, they also include a small gift of 4 Praline chocs for each guests…. Hmmm…
Also given a choice of usage of their Grand Ballroom or its reception area - Grand Gallery. As the GB is too big for our crowd and is difficult to make every1 feels cozy, we’ll most likely be having it at the Grand Gallery. Furthermore there’s a glass door opening up to a terrace and it’s ideal for kids to run about. We’ll still be having the whole floor by ourselves as once the GG being booked for function, the GB is automatically blocked out.

The whole concept they projected fits in so well with our requirements. What’s more can I say?? My elation is indescribable !!!

Why?

My cousin who had read what I wrote asked me the following questions :

Q: Why you wrote all these about Vince’s past?
A: They have quite a lot of mutual friends and he has been keeping mum whenever any1 asked. Some might have gotten the story elsewhere and derived that the cause of it was some1 had found a better half. Nothing wrong, so long as every1’s happier now, and some might be puzzled about the indifference in him at the mention of her name & thought he’s the petty 1. He’s always being gentleman & saved himself from all the explanations. So, it’s long enough & now let his fiancee be the ‘nasty’ 1! I can’t let my honey to be at the losing end all the time! If in the future any1 were to ask about the same things again, we’ll tell them to read our blog.
I wanna stress that I’m not penalising the cause of the breakup but the acts after the breakup. In fact I wanna thank her for giving him up so that I have the chance to make this "Treasure" mine.

Q: Aren’t you afraid that you’ll get some heated response?
A: What I’ve written is nothing but the facts. If any1 begs to differ, please confront me directly and I’m not afraid at all!

Q: It happened so long ago… why don’t you just move on?
A: Yes indeed it’s a long time…. We’ve definitely moved on otherwise we’ll not be tying the knot happily. And by revealing what’re kept under the carpet for so long, now we can really put the past behind us totally & begin a brand new phase in life which we are so looking forward to! Anyway it’s so easy to say move on especially for the one who had behaved irresponsibly, or should say self-centeredly, of course MOVE ON is the best way out!

Hey, this is our wedding blog! So this gonna be the LAST time I write about any other people besides the 2 of us!

The Making of A Bride

Before we made a trip to a bridal fair (in fact it’s our 1st visit to a bridal shop), we told ourselves never give in to the aggressive selling of the sales teams… we would take our time in Bridal Dress shopping.

Shortly after arriving we came across this booth with eye-catching pictures & beautiful gowns. Their photography is more on the creative side… it’s difficult to describe… it’s something to do with the colors, angles taken, poses, etc… We liked them so took some time to hear them out. The packages they quoted us, even the lowest range 1, were way beyond our budget and thus did not have much hope in engaging their services. But at the end of the discussion we got what we wanted! We stretched a lil bit of our budget & they fit in by customizing the items that we need. And it’s a real good deal we’ve clinched! All we can say is that Vince’s colleague paid their bridal shop in JB for their package as much as ours… and it’s 2 years ago!

Wow…! I’m so ecstatic!! :D

Evolution

It’s amazing how things evolved… Before his proposal, no plans in our mind & we thought we would just go as simple as having a small get-together of about 50 persons at our new place the most… perhaps by the pool… white bridal gown might not be even needed in that case…

But when we started to get down to it after he put that ring on my finger, we realised we have missed out a very important point : the guest list. How can we possibly accommodate both sides’ relatives & close friends into a neat 50-pax gathering??? So as we thought further, it seemed like I would be having my dream wedding! Yeeaah!!!
My dream wedding is not a grand affair with costly branded designer gowns & a big dinner. It’s more like having it at a venue that is in my wish list & doing things we like on that day. It would be wonderful wonderful + wonderful to be able to do it in our style, at the same time celebrate & share our joy on this special day with our family, close relatives & friends.
So, ta-da…! We started our brain storming & calculations…

I would say it’s a very interesting challenge to put every individual yet significant piece of our idea & want together. Having a tight budget, we have to prioritise what are the must-haves, could-haves & luxuries to us. It’s definitely not easy as initially everything looked like a necessity. But we do not want to go into a debt because of a wedding. So we took out those things in the list that could be compromised. It’s a very subjective process as different people/couples have different priorities and we are glad we have no problems at all in making these decisions together. The support from our parents contributes substantially to our decision making too which is why we really appreciate their understanding. We know it is usually not easy for the older generation to accept the younger ones’ way of doing when it comes to this kinda ‘big event in life’.

And now… all the major issues are more or less settled. And I'm still having my dream wedding !!!

Fly me to the moon ... !

While enjoying the bliss & sounds of congratz/teasing from friends & colleagues, the 1st thing we did was getting our rings. We do not fancy the typical wedding bands, so we chose 1 which is 2-3 times broader than a normal 1, dark matt colour with a tiny stone on it. We bought a pair according to our own sizes and had our names engraved in each other’s. We love it… It looks trendy and its price tag is the main reason we are happy about! So who says we must get ‘Wedding’ bands? Who cares as long as we like them?? Honestly, really no1 else other than the both of us.

Surprise, surprise

The P process was filled with surprises out of the expected and they were all very pleasant ones.

He planned for long to buy the ring. He eventually chose to let me know & bring me to get it coz it's a special ring that he wants me to wear for a looong looong time so it's important that I like it. There, I picked one with a small solitaire, of quite the same size as the one he gave me on Valentine's. But to my big surprise he bought the one with a much bigger diamond instead (which I had tried on & of coz loved it but didn't consider at all as thought we couldn't afford it). Truly I didn't expect myself to be the owner of such a pretty ring... at least not so soon. I was beaming with excitement & disbelief & my beloved knew I couldn't wait to put on that beautiful band!

So it was only a matter of time before he did it officially...

His plan of giving me the only bit of surprise with a bouquet together with the ring was backfired when I changed my next day's (Sat) schedule. To avoid a conflict from erupting due to his secretive actions & obviously disappointed expression, he had to tell me the truth. And the best part was he would not be collecting the flowers the following day as we wouldn't be in town but the order couldn't be cancelled... could only be postponed for the most 1 week! He was very upset & angry with himself for not being able to give me even a small surprise...Not only that, now I knew the whole "plan"...! I felt so sorry for him, but frankly I had expected him to buy me some flowers when offering me the ring. I was kinda relieved I didn't need to pretend I didn't know a thing. Ha!

To me, what matters most is the content. Now that the surprise factor was out of the agenda, in fact it already was when we got the ring together, he could still do something to touch my heart... to make me feel he had put in his whole heart & mind to ask for my hand... to let me accept his ring with overwhelming emotions, & not just because it's a ring with a nice precious stone.So, these I told him.

And hey, it's not easy for me too! Hee.. Having to behave as per normal while knowing it will happen within the week. Somehow I knew it's Thurs. That day during lunch, I asked my colleague how she would respond at that 'time-stopping' moment if she had already guessed it. Would she still pretend to be pleasantly surprised about the whole arrangement in order not to disappoint her boyfriend, or tell him she had actually expected it? Her answer was latter. For me, I couldn't decide. It's so difficult to put on an act... what if I looked fake?? It's worse right? But he's so poor thing. He has been wanting me to have the best of everything... including a traditional proposal. Tough decision to make huh...

True enough, all the excuses for bringing me to a restaurant went in line with my anticipation. It was funny... During the dinner he was a bit restless & I pretended I didn't notice, while expecting flowers be delivered to me. Finally! Towards the end of the dinner, I saw the waiter walked towards me with a bouquet! But.... only when he was close did I realise he's not a waiter, he's a courier man from my honey's company! Just then I discovered someone standing next to me video recording! The courier man handed him the extremely lovely bouquet & a ring box. While he acknowledged receipt on the consignment note & me still dumfounded, I realised that so-called courier man was my dear honey's boss!! Before I recovered from my shock, he was already on one of his knees with flowers & ring. And you know what went on next... :)
Behind the scene: He first told his colleagues about his plan of requesting for a set of their courierman uniform and asking his friend to dress as a despatch. His colleagues got so excited for him that his director & a colleague volunteered to the roles! So now, the whole department knows about it & seen the video clip & we are famous!! Haha!

So he outsmarted me... and I'm real glad he did! Indeed I'm very very touched by all the efforts & troubles he had to go through to make it such a romantic & unique proposal!

Thank you, honey!!

A lil history (Part II)

However there had been these gnawing thoughts & doubts in my mind 444 (1) our age differences. Initially I was always very conscious about how others looked at us... would they realise I'm the older 1? (2) Was I a substitute? Why didn't he seem lovelorn nor has any grievance since the first day I knew him? There was this BIG question mark hanging between us. Everything happened in less than 1 year (2b exact: 9 mths) and his last one was a looong 4yrs+ u know...! I did ask him about it but also knew what his answer would be. But how could it be?? So told myself "nevermind, I'll spot it one day... just observe." However 6 months down the road... no, nothing. Indeed it has never happened...

So I asked him again. The same explanation, but this time I was convinced: Apart from the agony of betrayal, he was surprised by himself that he didn't miss her.. maybe partly because she had already been away for some time. It was then did he realise that he didn't love her that much... perhaps it was out of the routine that kept them together, he reckoned.

I was still not satisfied & asked him: how could he still treat her so nice after what she had done to him?? He said he was not someone who would behave mean. I believe in him... especially now that I've known him more than 2 years. From how he treats those around him (of course I receive the best treatment of all! hee!)... everyone I know, especially my family, adores him. To be honest, though I was angry with him, I was happy too as I definitely would not want to be with someone who's revengeful & filled with hatred.

When it comes to love, I totally support the follow-our-heart 'rule', go for it as long as we think we would be happy... I can't agree more as I'd been there before too. I've a story here. It's a typical "follow your heart" story but the integrity of its female lead is highly questionable!44 She went study overseas and about half a year later got to know someone who made her feel different. Her bf who was serving NS in homeland knew nothing about it & continued to save as much as he could so as to make regular overseas calls to her. And maybe when you are kind you'd be repaid with kindness & vice versa... Someone close to the gal over there who could not tolerate her behaviour tipped the guy off about this 3rd party. Needless to say fights exploded all over. She eventually chose the new 1 as according to her, she felt so different & happy with him & he helped her grow. Then she brought her ex whom she dumped just a month ago to meet her new BEAU & their love nest! She was happy in her new found love.. but she has no brains to spare a thought for others, in particular the one who used to be her bf?? Well, just blame it on this Mr Nice Guy who still went ahead with her family to attend the gal's convocation in overseas after the split to fulfill what he previously promised. Shortly after, the gal borrowed money from her ex which was nearly his 1 month's pay in NS. This Mr Nice Guy (hereinafter known as MNG) sent her his debit card to withdraw the money after being promised the loan would be returned soon. Neither the $$ nor the card came back...! His reminders to her were ignored. Shortly after, again, she asked him to buy her some cosmetics!! OH GOODNESS....! Didn't the gal have any dignity?? Or she had too much that she thought men in the whole world would revolve around her?!?!? This time, MNG got a lil smarter & ignored the request. Ha! Soon after, MNG met his princess and endowed her with Queenly treatments. They were happy & loving until, just a couple of months into their dream-like relationship, this gal sms MNG asking for help on some technical problems to her mobile phone & thereafter called several times as he didn't reply. The couple had a huge fight because of this and MNG finally realised that he could no longer be MNG to someone who simply doesn't deserve it! His present gf was so precious to him and he could not afford to lose her because of a selfish chit who thought too highly of herself. They concluded : this female would not think of the help as some kindness to her, but instead might have thought herself as being so charming to have had her ex-bf waiting upon her at any time!

Anyway, back to my relationship.... You may think I'm being the mean gf who got jealous over his ex. Ok I admit I did get a lil jealous initially...but I was more like angry as I can't understand what has happened to some gals nowadays! And all these hard feelings somehow added a bit of strain to our relationship for some time. But now we have the common understanding... He does not hate her (he explained if there was any negative feelings, that would imply he still has not gotten over the relationship... how true it is..) nor does he want to stay in touch with her. I am too precious for him to let someone so irrelevant to upset me, even a wee bit! That's how sweet my honey is!!
I am so so glad all these are far behind us now. These include my problem no.1 too (age difference)! I am no longer mindful of how we look in front of others. Afterall we never notice the age gap... except at times when we gotta fill in our particulars..hehe :) What we had been through ever since we got together were beyond our own imagination. He is always by my side to go through everything with me...especially during the toughest phase in my life... I am really touched and I want to give the same kind of support to him too!