I like kids. To be precise, I like playing with kids. I can't imagine dedicating most of our time & money to take care of a child. I simply enjoy our couple-time too much. However I always get nagged at after voicing out this part of my thinking... "it's like this but once you have one, you'll naturally put your baby in the first place... you're no longer young, still don't want to give birth??... how can a family be complete without kids?? ...".
But I really don't feel the maternal call.
However it's true that I'm running out of time, my biological clock I mean. It's a crude fact. It's also my responsibility as a wife. Observing how Vince takes care of the kids around & is being well-liked by them, I don't doubt that hubby will be a good daddy. A playful one too ;)
Much as I wasn't for the idea of conceiving (I've acknowledged that the word 'not ready' is more appropriate for those who're younger as I've been rebutted too many times "huh? how old are you already? still not ready??" that I decide to take these 2 words off my mouth), I couldn't bring myself to explain to hubby. I wasn't even able to have a valid answer for myself about the unreadiness especially given my age, how was I going to convince him?
While trying to tell myself it's part & parcel of being married, I couldn't help but let out a big sigh of relief silently over a few times of false alarm.
Then some time mid of last year, hubby wanted to talk to me & asked me to keep an open mind about what he's going to say. He told me he's very contented with our present life-style. He'd be happy if we were to have a little one of our own but without, we've another type of joy. He didn't believe that a family could only be complete & blissful by expanding it. He'd been wanting to tell me when I started to talk about conceiving but was worried he couldn't put it right lest I misunderstood. Afterall it's a sensitive issue.
I couldn't believe it. His thoughts were like a duplicate set of mine! When I recalled, I think he did try to drop hints like "even next time with kids, they'll never take your place in my heart... next time if without kids, we would be able to save more & tour around the world together...".
Though I always claim we've telepathy, never did I expect it would be to this extent. It's gonna be very tough if we couldn't see eye to eye. So we thank God for us.
Nearly 90% of my friends are married with kids. Those of hubby are starting to go this direction too. And we've nieces & nephew. In a way we're well surrounded by young families. Though everyone's sharing how much joy children have brought to them & how their lives been changed, we do not yearn to be parents.
And I'm surprised that in our modern world, there're still people telling me to have a baby to 'spice' up otherwise monotonous life (did I ever say our married life is monotonous??). Kids will keep a marriage intact (err... no... I don't believe in this too after being through & seeing so much). We're extremely happy like this, cannot meh?
Both of us also don't believe in 养儿防老, perhaps it's due to what we see around us. The closest example is actually found in my own family, sadly. I can't explain how we think exactly & why, it's just amazing that we've the same conviction. That's the most important.
Having said the above, we're taking it naturally. We'll be thankful if down the road we've Vincent &/or Kelly junior as children are very precious gift from God. Without, we're happy to enjoy our love life. So carefree. We never run out of things to do... even a walk downstairs is so relishable.
We both agree what's more important is our health. Especially this year, I wish I will be healthier.
This is supposed to be our secret as we've decided to stop explaining ourselves to others. It's really an earful to be getting the same old & long 'advice'. They don't understand us. Thank God our families from both sides have been really cool about it. No question asked so far. Those who nag are surprisingly friends & colleagues (mine).
So if you read this, the next time you meet us you know what to say & what not right? :)
One day we might have a different take on our priorities in life. If this really happens, I pray that God will change the both of us at the same time, just like how He's done to us about half a year ago.
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